Life's a 1 time event. dun waste it. live 2 e best

my cute little girlfriend

2008-07-22T23:03:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since i last blogged and i promised my dearly beloved that i would because a really interesting incident happened on 11th July 2008.

Today, we went to Ajisen Ramen at Bukit Panjang. for no apparent reasons, we decided to spend that extra $ we had. We went in and ordered ourselves some ramen and of course, desserts eventually.

The dessert was this mango ice thing. Now, the interesting thing happened. Keep in mind that this dessert has NO sago ball.

While eating, she happily dug in and saw a ball (air bubble to be exact) and went, "Eh, is that sago ball?" and tried poking it. it didnt burst (as she didnt poke hard enough). And guess what, she ate in and said, "hmm, i dont think i taste anything."

And me, already about to laugh out loud showed her that this, is an air bubble (by poking it) and she started laughing at herself.

Here's where everything became really funny. she cant stop laughing and even after we leave, she's still laughing. lol.

ok. I'm right beside her now. she is studying her test and me, slacking. My fyp presentation is tml. Really tired over the past weeks/months of rushing this project. i must admit that the website done is really impressive compared to many. It has all the needed functions and links as compared to NEXT.com & ASOS.com (the top 2 fashion portals in the world). My project is to create an interactive web browsing eperience for users (in focus on browsing fashion websites).

However, most of the work is done by only one of my team mate while the 3 of us kinda floats in his shadow. Oh well, life under a big tree.

"oooooohh......." thats what she just said. guess she just had a revelation of some sort. lol.

well, what can i add to this post. I'm supposed to make it really long and worth reading. things between us are ok at this point of time. I'm really busy with my school and that's affecting my mood. Guess i became hot-tempered unknowingly lately.

Haven't been in contact with any of my friends. really lost touch with them. But what can i do, time is not enough. Family's down with many issues too. Not to mention the problem of me STILL not motivated to attend classes regularly.

What has happened to my As??? haha. oh well.

I guess im influenced by her. Her Oh well syndrome has gotten into me. haha. just count my oh wells in the previous paragraphs. haha.

Hmm, our rabbits are really cute. lots of funny incidents and pictures. but, in short, i guess they are the only pets i have that i've put in so much effort. However, is it willing or no choice? lol. i have a consistently busy and tired girlfriend. haha. In a good way perhaps?

Missed alot of people's birthday i just realised. But michelle's coming soon. lets make it a bang (not helping in the planning and everything doesnt seem to make things a bang yet). but, it's a really long time since i had a gathering with my friends. Guess somethings cant be helped.

I should stop here now. going any deeper may be revealing too much. I still care & love my friends. but i love my darling still too. :)

2008-05-21T14:45:00.003+08:00

test test for fyp
no link

A long way to go

2008-05-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

Was it you
That said that she could never get enough of me
But you confessed
That when we were alone you had to tell yourself to breathe
So maybe I
Should feel a little more like I've been living in a dream
Well I'm asking you should I stay

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

Why would you?
Wanna be with me instead of other guys
Oh make me feel
Like something special
God I think I've heard a million times
So would it be enough
To buy you everything and call you mine
'Cause it won't last long if I do

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

If I would leave tomorrow
You'd be the last to know

Even though I love you
If we stay together

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long..long way to go

Long way to go
Long way to go
Still got a long way to go

2008-02-09T03:28:00.000+08:00

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all that wants
And all that needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
Your finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when your blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

no. it will not.

Small TEENY WEENY LIL hijacker =x

2007-10-01T02:54:00.000+08:00

guess who?
if you are guessing, means you are dumb, cause below got my name! =p
owell, im lame and im bored.

its 3am.
the owner of this blog was fast aslp LONG AGO like a pig (as usual),
and here i am, cant slp again.
owell, why am i blogging here when i have my own blog?
the reason is.....
I'VE JUST EDITED THIS BORING & DUSTY BLOG!
though its nothing much, but at least it adds alil freshness okay!
plus this super nice song by this owner's fav band,
i think he will love me very much.

DONT YOU, JOSHUA LEK? =p

parting is greek to me

2007-09-13T17:22:00.000+08:00

"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow"

"Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast"

i miss so much things.
cable car.
sentosa.
stars.
flowers.

thy faithless soul

2007-09-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

For he the night before, in Tarquin's tent,
Unlocked the treasure of his happy state;
What priceless wealth the heavens had him lent
In the possession of his beauteous mate;
Reck'ning his fortune at such high-proud rate
That kings might be espoused to more fame,
But king nor peer to such a peerless dame.

O happiness enjoyed but of a few!
And, if possessed, as soon decayed and done
As is the morning silver-melting dew
Against the golden splendour of the sun!
An expired date, cancelled ere well begun:
Honour and beauty, in the owner's arms,
Are weakly fortressed from a world of harms.

Beauty itself doth of itself persuade
The eyes of men without an orator;
What needeth then apology be made,
To set forth that which is so singular?
Or why is Collatine the publisher
Of that rich jewel he should keep unknown
From thievish ears, because it is his own?

darling in chalet. PP work piling mouuntain high.
someone save me...
tired..
bored...
missing old times..
reminescenes...
things changed...
people changed...

o thy lord i plead.
take me away from the wretches claws.
of treachery and consummated hate.
my bateless edge of forgotten faith.

cant wait for the better times to come.
for me & you. :)

insomia

2007-09-12T01:51:00.000+08:00

trust comes from faith.
faith comes with honesty.
honesty comes from within.

if self was not honest to begin.
what faith can be spoken of.
what trust can be worth?

if words carry no weight.
if light bears no hope.
what hope what dreams what life awaits.

There is no darkness but ignorance

quote of prophet.
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. If we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honor. With what little of left; what little to live; what lesser to strive; life is a parting end of friendship and love belike.

Friend test

2007-08-03T16:04:00.000+08:00

well, seems like a trend to be making friend test and i decided to make one of my own..

enjoy..

if u can..

haha..

i got nth to say..

i miss my girl..

im gonna work soon.

school rocks if the As come rolling in.

my class is blasting music.. f***ing noisy.

everyone's going clubbing, but i cant..

nth else..

enjoy everyone..

life is short..
dun waste it with stupid mistakes..
always remember...
pride comes second.

Create your own Friend Test here

The death poem

2007-07-18T17:18:00.000+08:00

Fifty-nine stairs to the dock
will eventually splinter and weaken.
The old swing
is hanging by one frayed rope.

The dock will sink into whatever
fate the river offers,
and crab pots will rust
on an overgrown shore.

The cornfield will be cut
and the yard will no longer
witness late night games of kick
the can. The bench at the end
of the dock will wilt from solitude, the
absence of four generations.

The dining room table hides
under a layer of dust as the forty
faces at breakfast dwindle
to just fifteen
to just three
until no one remains.

A faded deck
of cards
abandoned on the table,
worn keys longing
for musical hands
too aged to play;

the same hands that created this sanctuary.

Grand Bid has already been torn away
and the dock has already begun to sway.
the fading memories,
the fading dreams,
the fading of the blessed aged.

The things we never did

2007-07-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

You and me,
We sit and talk of friendship then I ask,
If you can see
If we could be together, forever
I see the light die in your eyes
Coz you're scared you'll hurt
So you don't want to try

Well take a chance and come home with me
You could stay for eternity
If you try then at least you'll see
Then you'l never regret the things we never did

You turn to me, I see your eyes, and somehow they cease to shine
You smile at me yet I can see, you don't think we can make it
You see the light die in my eyes, coz I'm scared to lose you
I wish you would try

Well take a chance and come home with me
You could stay for eternity
If you try then at least you'll see
Then you'l never regret the things we never did

I see the light die in your eyes
Coz you're scared you'll hurt
So you don't want to try

Well take a chance and come home with me
You could stay for eternity
If you try then at least you'll see
Then you'l never regret the things we never did

reminescene of the better..
reminescene of the past..
reminescene of... everything..

Love

2007-07-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

Love is the answer to every question.
Why are we here? Love.
Where do we come from? Love.
How do we create world peace? Love.

It may sound overly simplistic to the modern
human being, since we are want to analyze and
look for complex answers to questions. We don’t
believe that life is simple and the answers to its
problems can also be simple: love.

In truth, what are anger, sadness, pain but the soul’s
desire for love?

When we know that we are beautiful and wonderful, we see the world through those eyes. We see the beauty and wonder in all things around us.

Love will fill you up so you will know there is nothing missing in your life.

Love will lead you to every answer.

Love is the source of my strength and courage
Love is the source of my happiness and joy
Love is all that it takes to put a smile on my face

Love, is never doubting the future to come,
Love, is never giving up needlessly,
Love, has taught me everything,
Love, is all that it takes to keep me moving on.

**though friends are the ones that pushes you to greater heights and further limits, its love that's also there for extra motivation, extra encouragement and above all, extra extra joy.

randomness

2007-07-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

When all the words have been written, and all the
phrases have been spoken, the great mystery of life
will still remain. We may map the terrains of our
lives, measure the farthest reaches of the universe,
but no amount of searching will ever reveal for certain
whether we are all children of chance or part of a
great design.

And who among us would have it otherwise? Who
would wish to take the mystery out of the experience
of looking into a newborn infant’s eyes? Who would
not feel in violation of something great if we had
knowledge of what has departed when we stare into
the face of one who has died? These are the events
that made us human, that define the distance
between the stars and us.

Still, this life is not easy. Much of its mystery is darkness. Tragedies occur, injustices exist. Bad things befall good people and sufferings are visited upon the innocent. To live we must take the lives of other species, to survive we must leave some of our brothers and sisters by the side of the road. We are prisoners of time, victims of biology, hostages of our own capacity to dream.

At times it all seems too much, impossible to accept.

We must stand against this. The world is a great mysterious place, and it’s possibilities are infinite, governed only by what our hearts can conceive. If we incline our hearts towards the darkness, we will see darkness. If we incline them toward the light, we will see the light.

Those of great heart have always known this. They have understood that, as honorable as it is to see the wrong and try to correct it, a life well lived must somehow celebrate the promise that life provides. The darkness at the limits of our knowledge; the darkness that sometimes seem to surround us is merely a way to make us reach beyond certainty, to make our lives a witness to hope, a testimony to possibility, an urge toward the best and the most honorable impulses that our hearts can conceive.

It is not hard. There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.

If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference? The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.

we may just be what it takes to make this place, a better place for all. never doubt yourself. in times of crisis and uncertainty, be strong, be firm, believe in yourself.

freedom

2007-07-17T01:09:00.000+08:00

Set yourself free from anything that might hinder you in becoming the person you want to be. Free yourself from the uncertainties about your abilities or the worth of your dreams, from the fears that you may not be able to achieve them or that they won't be what you wanted.

Set yourself free from the past. The good things from yesterday are still yours in memory; the things you want to forget you will, for tomorrow is only a sunrise away. Free yourself from regret or guilt, and promise to live this day as fully as you can.

Set yourself free from the expectations of others, and never feel guilty or embarrassed if you do not live up to their standards. You are most important to yourself; live by what you feel is best and right for you. Others will come to respect your integrity and honesty.

Set yourself free to simply be yourself, and you will soar higher than you've ever dreamed.

untitled

2007-07-16T10:45:00.000+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take

[When You're Gone lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

--when you're gone by avril lavigne.

I miss you...
so short a time apart.
so long the heart yearns.
so fast, the mind it misses.
so... so... very much..

2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That's something only love can do

That's something only love can do

--only love by trademark.

only love.. can make me complete..
only love.. gives me what i need..
only love.. it is, what is greed.

Hunting

2007-07-16T09:01:00.000+08:00

Deer hunting.
a sport excercising both brute strenghth and intellect.
ruthless much may say this sport is,
harming the innocent deers and killing them.
but in each and every human hearts and minds,
there is a hunter inside too.
saddistic and ruthless, cunning and merciless.

Deer hunting started out as a simple "game" of cat and mouse between hunter and hunted alike. it soon became a business when deer skin became popular to many and deer meat too.

deer hunting has many forms and methods but one, the stalking method, both smart, precise yet slow in process.

hidden in the bushes,
with trails covered and blended with nature,
the hunter crouch and waits for its prey.

slowly crawling into the midst of the deer herd,
making soft deer grunts,
with proper information gathering and insights,
a deer grunts signifies doe's way of saying come here,
also to call her fawns at feeding time.
It is critical to keep the call soft
as a loud grunt is too aggressive,
scaring them away.

when the deer hears its call,
during the feeding period of mid dawn and dusk,
the deer approaches unknowing of what lies in wait.
savoring the "green" grass with the hunter just beside,
the deer's guard is let down by the grunts that settles and calms.

creeping its way closer to the deer the hunter goes,
but with a strong jab right into the throat,
any call of help is futile,
strong legs the deer has for protection here is just,
impossible to get its way out.
with the jagged knife still deep in the throat,
its now only a matter of time the deer passes,
what help is it to have a 200-pound worth kick and keen senses,
when around the closet kin or those who pretends to be,
the guard is down, senses, ignored,
and the deer, yet another victim of stalking.

like lions,
they eat their young cubs to enforce survival of the fittest.

like squirrels and much rodents,
the closest are the ones that will surely cause the deepest wounds.

soon, its the closest you think they are that will hurt and harm you.
animals alike humans.
let your guard down to the right ones.
but who are the right ones?

life, the most controversal and despicable game to play,
be it fun and innocent,
be it sore and violent,
be it messy or rock-bottom,
the game of life,
whos the best gamer?

have a nice day

2007-07-13T11:33:00.000+08:00

to all that's going through some shit and tough times,
always remember. you are the sole boss of your own.
lead the way you want, go the places you wish, its your own life.
well, have a nice day!

ITS MY LIFE!!

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

[Chorus:]
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

[Chorus:]
It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

HAVE A NCIE DAY!!!!!!!

Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it's black or white?
Mama, can you hear me? try to understand.
Is innocence the difference between a boy and a man.
My daddy lived a lie, it's just the price that he paid.
Sacrificed his life, just slaving away.

Oh,if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge and
show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my FACE,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay

Take a look around you, nothing´s what it seems
We're living in a broken home of hopes and dreams,
Let me be the first to shake a helping hand.
Anybody, brave enough to take a stand,
I've knocked on every door, on every dead-end street,
Looking for forgiveness and what's left to believe

Oh, if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, and show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay.

(Guitar Solo)

Oh oh , if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge,and show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay
(in the background)
(Have A Nice Day)

When The world keeps trying to drag me down,
Gotta raise my hands, gonna stand my ground.
I say, hey, Have A Nice Day-ay-ay.
Have A Nice Day!

try this

2007-07-13T11:27:00.000+08:00

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Aishiteru.

i wonder... if A take a shift...
maybe.. a caesar shift??
like.. 13?

life greatest..

2007-07-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

life is bright,
cause of the little things that light it up.

life is fun,
cause of the smiles and plays around.

life is joy,
cause of the entities within,

life is great,
cause of the great things i have.

life, is enjoyable.
cause of you.
thanks for being around.
:)
let this never end.

when i fall in love

2007-07-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

when i fall in love,
it would be special.
when i fall in love,
it would be forever.

when i fall in love,
it will be without regrets.
when i fall in love,
it will be wihtour remorse.

when i fall in love,
it will be so amusing.
when i fall in love,
laughters comes from the childish & sweet little things.

of all that i have,
of all that i want,
of all that i ever needed.

it's love, it's love.
perfect love that runs deep.
faithful and true i stay,
where sweet sweet words runs deeps,
where love flows endlessly.

when i fall in love,
it shall never be broken.
when i fall in love,
it will be a tight eternal bond.

when i fall in love,
it will be a miracle.
when i fall in love,
it will be smiles and happiness.

of all that i have,
of all that i want,
of all that i ever needed.

it's love, it's love.
perfect love that runs deep.
faithful and true i stay,
where sweet sweet words runs deeps,
where love flows endlessly.

when i fall in love,
can i say how much i love you?
when i fall in love,
of the high voltages striking out from loving eyes met.

when i fall in love,
would i know how to say?
when i fall in love,
the most important things that matters,
I love you.

cause it's love, it's love.
perfect love that runs deep.
faithful and true i stay,
where sweet sweet words runs deeps,
where love flows endlessly.

cause its love its love its love.
love of you & me..

Importance

2007-07-12T11:41:00.000+08:00

what is more important?
hmmm.
empty post.
empty mind.
empty life.

solve this genius readers.

//**private void static main ( boolean life, double possibilities, int age, string ""+name){

//*for (int i = 0, i-liArray.length, i+){
//*li = li,Array[i];
//*li.printLifeInfo();
//error 404//

}

Hierachy superclass K.O

super life fate, destiny;

having java lesson.
happy breaking this you bored and nth better to do readers.
im off to do my boring job.

Good or Bad

2007-07-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

what is the difference of good and bad?
who then determines good or bad.
who then determines what is happiness or sadness.

an interesting thought i had.
good people are just ordinary men with obvious positive points to be seen
while bad ones are just these ordinary men with obvious negativy points.

for instance, each and every men has the same.
faith, desire, greed, laze, violence and much more.
but what separates a good man and bad is how they control themselves.

some people are just able to control themselves well, thus sending the image of being good and nice to others. while some are just unable to control and thus sending the image of being bad to others.

the game of life,
be it a murderer or saint,
a rapist or monk,
an arsonist or fire-fighter,

the only difference is the title given to them.

deep within these men are still the same greed, desire, selfishness and negativities.
but what separates them is control.
though not ruling out the existance of some with much higher desires or heroism,
in general, men are still the same.

with the given state of titles from the public,
with the image sealed from the eyes of men,
the game of life,
its played within everyone.
with or without a choice,
you're in it.
play it.

Risk management

2007-07-09T12:14:00.000+08:00

What is risk management?

Risk management is the human activity which integrates recognition of risk, risk assessment, developing strategies to manage it, and mitigation of risk using managerial resources.

The strategies include transferring the risk to another party, avoiding the risk, reducing the negative effect of the risk, and accepting some or all of the consequences of a particular risk.

Some traditional risk managements are focused on risks stemming from physical or legal causes (e.g. natural disasters or fires, accidents, death and lawsuits). Financial risk management, on the other hand, focuses on risks that can be managed using traded financial instruments.

Objective of risk management is to reduce different risks related to a pre-selected domain to the level accepted by society. It may refer to numerous types of threats caused by environment, technology, humans, organizations and politics. On the other hand it involves all means available for humans, or in particular, for a risk management entity (person, staff, organization).

have you done your risk management?

6 string dynasty

2007-07-05T08:55:00.000+08:00

the following is gonna be dead lame and ridiculous and above all, senseless. :)

the 6string dynasty. he who owns 6strings can rule.
each string with its own uses that follows.
but within each string, there is a hidden setback,
one that robs the user of a certainty.
the certainty of truth and being.

the king of kings, lord of lords,
he who owns the 6strings.
yet slowly and surely,
the 6strings comes back and haunt.
to rob, steal and destroy,
now, string by string it rips itself apart.
now, the strings are gone and lost.

no more strings left to play
no more strings left to use
no more string-ed dynasty
no more 6string dynasty.

:)

170.. the eagle

2007-06-28T13:33:00.001+08:00

everything..
is not as it seems..
everything..
is not as it is..
look forward..
and venture out..
for the answers are definitely not where you are now..

-quoted from star wars.

interesting phrase i suddenly remembered.
remembered this story norman told me couple of days ago
but, due to my bad memory, most of the story i cant remember
but this is my edited version. haha!

an eagle egg was lost and ended up with chicken eggs
it grew up and learnt the ways of the chicken not knowing its real identity and its hidden capabilities
the eagle grew up and at times, the farmer let them out to eat and play
one day, the small eagle saw a big eagle soaring above the skies with a snake in its mouth
it asked its mum, mummy mummy!! what is that?
the hen replied, son, its an eagle, it eats snakes and snakes eat us
now, get inside, hurry.
the eagle was puzzled,
why do we need to run??
the hen replied.. if the eagle drops the snake, it will eat us. thats life.
the next day, the small eagle ran into the big eagle at the mountains
the small eagle was frightened and tried to hide from the big eagle
sonny, why are you hiding? asked the big eagle
you will eat me, or bring the snake to eat me. replied the small eagle
eat you? haha! you are an eagle, you eat the snakes instead
but but, im a chick! i eat worms, i live in the farm with my family
you? a chick? look at your talons, your beak and your wings, you are not a chick in every ways.
but but, i cant fly!
fly? follow me, jump off this cliff and you shall become a true eagle.
with that, the big eagle jumps off and flew away
the small eagle thinking alot about what the eagle said and tried on a boulder, btu try as it might, the boulder was not high enough to take flight.
the next day, the big eagle returned and circled the skies
the small eagle thought about it and finally mustered all the confidence and courage it had and finally jumps off
the small eagle took flight that day and became a full-fledged eagle with its true identity back.

so, what is the morale of the story?
:)

think for youself. lets see how it relates..

Simplicity

2007-06-28T11:34:00.000+08:00

Little I ask; my wants are few;
I only wish for a hut of stone,
That I may call my own;
And close at hand is such a one,
In yonder street that fronts the sun.

Plain food is quite enough for me;
Three courses are as good as ten;
If Nature can subsist on three,
Thank Heaven for three.
I always thought cold victual nice;
My choice would be always ice.

I care not much for gold or land;
Give me a mortgage here and there,
Some good bank-stock, some note of hand,
Or trifling railroad share,
I only ask that Fortune send
A little more than I shall spend.

Honors are silly toys, I know,
And titles are but empty names;
I would, perhaps, be Plenipo,
But only near St. James;
I'm very sure I should not care
To fill our Gubernator's chair.

Jewels are baubles, it is a sin
To care for such unfruitful things;
One good-sized diamond in a ring,
Some, not so large, in wedding bands,
A ruby, and a pearl, or so,Will do for me;
My dame should dress in cheap silk and leaves

I own perhaps I might desire
Some shawls of true Cashmere,
Some marrowy crapes of China silk,
Like wrinkled skins on scalded milk.
I would not have the horse I drive
So fast that folks must stop and stare;
An easy gait - two forty-five

Suits me; I do not care;
Perhaps, for just a single spurt,
Some seconds less would do no hurt.
Of pictures, I should like to own
Titians and Raphaels three or four,
I love so much their style and tone,
One Turner, and no more,
Of books but few, - some fifty score

Wealth's wasteful tricks I will not learn,
Nor ape the glittering upstart fool;
Shall not carved tables serve my turn,
But all must be of lies?
Give grasping pomp its double share,
I ask but one recumbent chair.

Thus humble let me live and die,
Nor long for Midas' golden touch;
If Heaven more generous gifts deny,
I shall not miss them much,
Too grateful for the blessing lent
Of simple tastes and mind content.

Take joy what what little possess,
Of the blessings and givings not much to spare;
Retract not, what evil it holds,
Count them twice the blessings, -thirty-fold,
With not much to count or see
Of simplicity, thats, all i need.

how may truly knows what simplicity is..
how many truly knows.. what i really seeks..

infinity and beyond

2007-06-28T10:14:00.000+08:00

life, the countess of possibilities.
fate, the endless opportunity to hope.
destiny, the duke of hazzards to what lies ahead.
infinity, life is beyond..

with life, comes the fate and destiny,
for hope to what each and every man covet,
like love, like hatred, emotions of the skin-depth surface
seeps within the veins with the vile acts of time..

infinity, of fate, destiny ahead,
like a soft reset, it rests its heavy back on a timeless ends,
for power, control and responsibility,
the meekness of thy soul, lost in transit..

splitting paths, crossing fate,
the intermission of life intwined,
masked vengence, hidden truth,
the pillage and raze of a pirate's deal..

Kimi no kotoba wa
Yume no yasashisa kana?
Uso wo zenbu
OikakushiteruZurui yo ne

1000 words...
not enough..
eternity..
not enough..

for what lies in future,
what lies behind and ahead,
life's unexpectancy and million opportunities with possibilities,
are all just infinity and beyond..

Tabidatsu kimi ni
Sameta senaka misete
Kiiteita yo
Hitori tatakau no?
Zurui yo ne

"Kaettekuru kara"
Oikoshiteyuku kimi no koe
Iji hatte
Tsuyoi furi
Toki wo modoshite
Sakebeba yokatta?
Ikanai de to namida koboshitara?
Ima wa dekiru
Donna koto mo

Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wo
Haruka na
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubasa ni kaete
Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wa
Kizutsuitakimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Dakishimeru

Yume no tsuduki wa
Kimi wo omoinagara
Ano hi no koto
Wasureta furishite
Zurui yo ne

"Tegami wo kaku kara"
Shisen sorashita kimi no koe
Iji hatteTsuyoi furi
Toki wo modoshite
Okoreba yokatta?
Matenai yo to kata wo otoshitara?
Ima wa dekiru
Donna koto mo

Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wo
Mienai Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubasa ni kaete
Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wa
Tsukareta
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Dakishimeru

Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wo
Lalalala..
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubaksa ni kaete
Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wa
Lalalala..
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Lalalalala....

-1000 words, from Final Fantasy X-2

twisting fate

2007-06-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

Words twist and tumble
Through my mind
But I can't grab the right word
Or the right line
So we sit
In silence
But it’s not uncomfortable
In fact I love it
You rest your head on my chest
As we lay here
Lovers entwined
Hearts tangled
You raise your head
And look into my eyes
And I see our love
Almost as if it’s a real force
I don’t ever want to lose this moment
You lay your head on my chest once again
And now I can feel your heartbeat
And my hearts skips
And I finally find the words I’m looking for
I love you

sweeter grapes grow in bad soil

2007-06-25T11:53:00.000+08:00

everyone loves the sweet sensations of life.
be it love, friendship or even the simple act of kindsness unto them.

but in life, sweet things oesnt necessary falls on good people.

a phrase i heard from times ago.
sweet grapes are grown not from the best of soil and best of fertiliser.
but sweet grapes grows best on bad soil.

with the act of nature upon the grapes,
the vines grows strong and deep into the soil,
the leaves spread wide to absorb the nutrients,
the fruits slowly seeps the nutrients and grows slowly and require less amount of nutrients and minerals to grow and soon, the sweetness in it circulates the fruit.

** by the way, that was no bull, heard it in a grape farm when i was at aus**

in life, each and every experiences will nurture your veins, your vines and your leaves,
you will grow strong and resist the negativities in life.
you will learn and mature in the age of time
and soon, the fruit of your hardwork shall be sweet.

i'll be there for you

2007-06-24T04:14:00.000+08:00

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide
You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you

I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for youI'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you.

to those who've mattered, matters and will matter.

to friends that's there when im fickle minded, when im down and low, when im high and joyous
to friends that knows and understands, that's there when i need, and there for the times
to friends that shared and have memories with, that's part and made life out of me
to love that made me this, that made me walk out of the sorry past, that make me renewed
to family that's put up with me thus long.

these five words i swear to you,
I'll be there for you.

thanks for being there. now, its my turn.
i may have hurt,
i may have wrongs,
but believe me and know this,
regret is a feeling,
sorry is an action,
but being there, is the action that comes with the feelings.

thanks for all that you've done (friends, love and family)

**wonder what's e motivation to say those on top.
but well, friends are the foot stones in life,
love is the pathway to looking forward,
and family, the ground that your roots grow from.

the three things in life you must take joy from,
the three things in life i thank for having.
thus,
my promise, i'll be there for you.

to vien, thanks for the past months of memories, though we've shared our ups and downs, i'll play my part, i'll play it well. i'll give it a shot. so, let's play this well, let's be patient, let's be true. let us slowly reveal, what the future has instored for us.

to friends, my RP friends, thanks for putting up with my lameness and my ever fickle-mind lately. but bear with it longer, this dude here, he's gonna stay and continue irritating you guys. he;'ll be here. he promist.

to friends, my friends i've failed to meet lately, esp those from peirce. the memories are all in my heart and mind, thanks for all that we've shared. well, i'll be here. just a call away. never too far to reach. will always be my pleasure to help and serve.

to family, shit comes round and round, i'll set my place now and play my part. its never too late.

multi-coloured post. hehe. well, enjoy life people!

famous quote to end,

any idiot can face a crisis, but three words sums it all ---- it goes on..

the only constant in life is change

life is a series of collisions with the future and the past, its not the sum of what we've been but what we look forward to be

one of my fav songs ever

2007-06-19T12:15:00.000+08:00

Wait, how long would you wait
Just for me to comeI know you make mistakes
yeah, butI hope some day you have it all
cause I feel like a prisoner
trapped inside this broken world
while I'm playing the victim again
running in circles
to me it's all the same
and though nothing's gonna change, still
I hope someday you have it all

take this aggravation that I've thrown myself into
change this situation just cause I need something new

and still I feel like a prisoner
trapped inside this broken world
while I'm playing the victim again
running in circlesto me it's all the same
and though nothing's gonna change, still
I hope someday you have it allI hope someday you have it all
if we could all dependon what we know
if you could understand
I'm losing control
that I'm losing control
that I'm losing control
that I'm losing control

- 88 , sum41

feeling bored... in class...

2007-06-19T11:31:00.000+08:00

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your

Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your

Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
just to make it through

Move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along

- Move along, all american rejects

Storming through the party like my name was el nino
When Im hangin out drinking in the back of an el camino
As a kid, I was a skid and no one knew me by name.
I trashed my own house party cause nobody came.

I know Im not the one you thought you knew back in high school
Never going, ever showing up when we had to.
Is it attention that we crave
dont tell us to behave,
Im sick of always hearing act your age.

I dont want to waste my time
Become another casualty of society.
Ill never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.

Because you dont
Know us at all we laugh when old people fall.
But what would you expect with a conscience so small.
Heavy metal and mullets its how we were raised.
Maiden and priest were the gods that we praised

Cause we like having fun at other peoples expense and,
Cutting people down is just a minor offence then,
Its none of your concern, I guess Ill never learn.
Im sick of being told to wait my turn.

I dont want to waste my time
Become another casualty of society.
Ill never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.

- Fat lips, Sum 41

I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

- Untitiled, Simple Plan

I need an alarm system in my house
So I know when people are creeping about
These people are freaking me out (these days)

It's getting hectic everywhere that I go
They wont leave me alone
There's things they all wanna know

I'm paranoid of all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can't anyone see?

I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

I rock a law suit when I'm going to court
A white suit when I'm getting divorced
A black suit at the funeral home
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone
Talking on the phone got an interview
With the Rolling Stone they're saying
"Now you're rich and now you're famous fake ass girls all know your name now
And Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous your first hit arent you ashamed"
Of the life, of the life, of the life were living

I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live

- i just wanna live, Good charloette

Am I more than you bargained for yet?
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
that's just who I am this week

Lie in the grass next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

Drop a heart and break a name
We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex
cock it and pull it

-sugar we're going down, fall out boys.

and the mtv music award goes to...........

Too close for comfort

2007-06-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

i never meant the things I said
To make you cry and I say I'm sorry
It's hard to forget and yes I regret
All these mistakes

I don't know why you're leaving me
But I know you must have your reasons
There's tears in your eyes I watch as you cry
But it's getting late

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in

What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
I'm driving you home
Guess I'll never know

Remember when we scratched our names
Into the sand and told me you loved me
But now that I find that you've changed your mind
I'm lost for words

And everything I feel for you
I wrote down on one piece of paper
The one in your hand, you won't understand
How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I wanted in

What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
driving you home
Guess I'll never know

peusdocode

2007-06-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

10010101110101010001
01101010101010101010
10100101010101010010
10110100101011010101
101101010111010010110
10100101011100101010
01010101011101010101
11101010101011010100
0101001001011010010
10110110101010101000
00101011011001010100
10110110101010101000
00101011011001010100
10010101110101010001
01101010101010101010
10100101010101010010
11100101100111010100
10110110101010101000
00101011011001010100
101101101010101011111
01101011011001010100

break it if you're that bored.
if you can that is.

interesting quotes

2007-06-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Ripped these quotes off www.quptationspage.com

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.

All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.

If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you're having enough.

Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

ah. theres hell lots there. take a look.
you may just find the right solution to any problems you're facing.
the past has such wonderful effects on untangling messy situations
the future has such exciting surprises to be uncovered
the present has such acts of suppression, to make you better.

The dark-faced loner

2007-06-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost, The road untaken.

To lose one's faith surpasses
The loss of an estate,
Because estates can be
Replenished, -- faith cannot.
Inherited with life,
Belief but once can be;
Annihilate a single clause,
And Being's beggary.
The dark-faced loner stands in misery

The winds drew off
Like hungry dogs
Defeated but by a single bone.
Through fissures & quakes in volcanic cloud
The yellow lightning shown.
The trees held up
Their mangled limbs
Like animals in pain,
Like nature falls upon herself,
Beware then, an Ancient Law!
The very law, the dark-faced loner stands strong upon

An Anceitn Law of joy & sorrow
Of which the elders speak from heart
Your joy young little yee,
is your sorrows unmasked
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often
times filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine
the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
and you shall find
it is only that which has given you sorrow
that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow,"
and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come,
and when one sits alone with you at your board,
remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales
between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver,
needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

For as they say Time changes things, but i say to thee,
"you change yourself as time brings you forth"
As only you can change your own life, noone can do it for you.
where time is the only constant, the signal for rebirth
that sorrows and joys be inseparable
so as changes in time to go
Change has a such an impact on the human mind.
To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse.
To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better.
To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
But to the meek and sorry ones, it is a destructive force of nature acting on the fearful, hopeful and confident ones.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self
will require not just small adjustments
in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
The more things change, the more they remain... insane.

For changes comes as time goes by
for as sorrows comes for a better joy to pass
for as mistakes makes the meek lose hope
for as chances are given yet taken for granted by
for as hope be dim and clouded dark
for as i, the dark-faced loner
unmask his hidden eyes

the dark-faced loner, lost and gone.
the dark-faced loner, the clueless poet
the dark-faced loner, the lsot misionary
the dark-faced loner, the idealist, gone wrong.
the dark-faced loner, insane as it goes.

at the beginning... again..

2007-06-13T19:44:00.000+08:00

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
back to the beginning where false be undone
No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start
may do us more good den we can expect
And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

friendhship poem

2007-06-13T19:40:00.000+08:00

A featured friendship poem i came across this morning.
sounded kinda interesting. :)

We laid back and let it all flow out
the topic of trust never once had a doubt,
for within my mind and heart as well
was an image and vibe as clear as a bell.
You were very special to me and more
I had a feeling inside I never felt before.
A trust so great and strong
I wanted this trust to take away all the wrong
and return to me a mended soul.
My mended soul would then release a new angel beside the other one
and together we would stroll the heavens,
our times are over and done.
For we have then won the battle within
and now we rest for created we have a personality twin,
Think alike, talk alike, say the same thing.

It is time we are to ascend
for we have reached the territory of a best friend.

But friendships break even the best of ones
then all me have established becomes undone.
Your job as my angel is then complete
because you have left me with only my pen and sheet.
I am now forced to record what I feel to something unlike you and I,
it's not real.
I'm talking to myself, every single word
I write to paper but what I'm saying goes left unheard.

All this because of you my angel, you are no longer beside me
though I beg and pleaour friendship just wasn't meant to be.

But do not worry my pen is okay
For within my heart our memories will always stay,
Forever...
because a part of you will be with me always, to forget you
Never...

blurrified memories

2007-06-13T19:14:00.000+08:00

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.
those were memories that may never matter again
Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
those were times that our friendship felt real
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
yet when reality plays its game again
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...
it rips all these away
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
now everything is blurrified and may be lost
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...
now everything may just be gone
Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you've got to know this one thing!
but i have not given up
No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a.
I'm sure they can help you today.
not liike once before
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
theres still salvation at the end
They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...
im ready for all the shots and flares
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
im prepared to take a long journey
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel ...
i will work it slow but surely
Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no man cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so jive ...
i will stay and stick around like i said
That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.
It's a place there called the y.m.c.a.
They can start you back on your way.
but please have faith once mroe again
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
let the wall be down even if its a little
They have everything for young men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...
for im charging in once again
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a
to break this wall down again
Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down
Young man, young man, pick yourself off the ground
so hate me scold me or kill me
It's fun to stay at y-m-c-a
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a
but this friendship, im gonna save
Young man, young man, are you listening to me?
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?
y-m-c-a
you are a friend i cannot lose.

The reason... is you..

2007-06-13T16:35:00.000+08:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you (x4)

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
z.....
the reason is you...
to change who i used to be..
to make the wrongs right..
to make the faults better..
to do something more..
to be something better..
to love someone more..
the reason... is you..

collide

2007-06-12T01:27:00.000+08:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

do do do do x 4

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometime
Even the wrong words seem to rhym
eOut of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

do do do do x 4

I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometime
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

do do do do x 8

Even the best fall down sometime
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

do do do do x2

Finally find
You and I collide

do do do do x 2

You finally find
You and I collide

do do do do x 8

The dance of terror

2007-06-11T11:45:00.000+08:00

Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock that comes in waves
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see
The final dance of terror sights
Is this what's meant to be seen?

Winter

2007-06-11T11:38:00.000+08:00

The silent whispers in the winter nights,
the lonely travels of thy confused minds.

The chilly wind and piercing cold,
accompanies the dark and solemn minds.

The bitter-cold winter embrace thy lonesome child,
robs the light, thee winter darkness clouds.

The winter season comes and goes,
but the days and months pass so slow.

The tears of joys and sadness rolls,
by the chilly winds, the tears froze in time.

The bitter-sweet misery of loneliness in winter,
encapsules the wild imagintaions.

The lost and racing minds, thy miserable lonely child,
excruciating pain, thats the winter night's cry.

to those who thought so..

2007-06-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

firstly...
i need to explain something to people who i thought knew me and understood.
this information is forcefully dug up by a very very need-to-know-it-all.

misunderstandings misunderstandings misunderstandings..
when will such cases end..

for those who think im referring to you.
please refer to my girl's blog. and the password is my current class.
only those involved should or may remember.

fear

2007-06-06T02:23:00.000+08:00

Fear is a powerful biological feeling of unpleasant risk or danger, either real or imagined.
Psychologists have argued that fear, along with a few other basic emotions such as joy and anger, is innate in all human beings. Fear is a defensive, survival advantage, and may have evolved in a variety of organisms. It is usually a response to a particular stimulus. For example, a person may see a huge monster before them and fear, the defensive tool is everyone warns them about the danger and shuns from it thus telling them to escape from the monster and be safe from danger.

thus, when someone say... never fear sth... screw them.. scratch that.. fear it.. but choose the right battles to fight... a lost battle doesnt mean a lost war..

odds

2007-06-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

- against all odds, Phill Collins.

2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust

But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye

- Only love, Trademark.

The man with thousand faces.
with a single bottle in his left hand
with a shield of faith on the other
magics casted for the propriations.

the man with thousand faces.
bleed to death with the pokes of fake-ness
O great magic casted and O great thy world
sturdy shields, sharp edges.

the man with thousand faces.
read his books, went to library
consequencial actions no longer
thicker, harder, stronger.

the man with thousand faces.
words not words, acts not acts
magic off caster off casting off
late late late.

the man with thousand faces.
nothing more to say.
pseudo-ism
the new trend.
life? it sucks
but not when you have the right things to accompany

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

- I will stand by you, The pretenders

Lying awake, I turn to you
As you are softly sleeping
I think of what I'd like to do
While you are somewhere dreaming
I...I feel so happy by your side
Oh, why...I wonder, wonder, wonder why

Find it hard to find the words
To say what I am feeling
I'm so in love, I'm so alive
And I know you're the reason
Why...why I'm so happy all the time
Oh, why...I wonder, wonder, wonder why

I need nothing else in life
Than to hold you
I...oh, I am in so deep
I don't need no sleep
I just need you here with me
Baby, I live for loving you
(Ooh, la la la la la la la)Live for loving you
All I wanna do is love you, love you

It would never cross my mind
To find another lover'
Cause, after having been with you
There could be no other
I...just touching you, I'm satisfied
Oh, why...I wonder, wonder, wonder why

I need nothing else in life
Than to hold you
I...oh, I am in so deep
I don't need no sleep
I just need you here with me
Baby, I live for loving you
(Ooh, la la la la la la la)Live for loving you
All I wanna do

Is live for loving you
(Ooh, la la la la la la la)I live for loving you
All I wanna do is love you, love you

- Live for loving you, Gloria Estefan

defy odds. if you can...

your future lies...

2007-06-03T18:21:00.000+08:00

destiny... fate... the inevitability of life..
the predetermined path..
the prophetic declarations..
the unavoidable occurance..

what is life in the face of the happenstance?
what is life in the stance of the asperity of consequence.
what is life then, in the comparison of the deliberate and act of luck?
life... the predetermined path??
life.. the prophetic declaration??
life.. the unavoidance occurance??
destiny, fate or just the inevitable..

life is a road..
life is a journey..
life is a river..
life is now and forever..
but the intervention of fate & destiny causes the inevitable intertwine meetings that makes life a wonderful adventure..

but who decides destiny?
but who determines fate?
but who causes the inevitable?
a higher being?
God?
or is all a preset preview of hell & heaven in a place known as earth?
or could all be just an illusion of the pyschiat being of the human mind?
or it could just be the consequence of humane actions day-to-day.

if life is but a consequencial event..
do we have control over it?
even so, does that mean we are the higher beings of ourselves?
the God of interposition of our personality and consequences.
the God that brings in regrets, remourse and resentments.
the God that in chance brings love, peace and harmony.
thus bringing the joys, happiness and prosperity to its beings.

being so, are we each and every one a god of our own?
a god with full control of our consequencial events, life?
a higher being that illuminates your own path,
a higher being that plans and navigatges its own directions?
a higher being that moves itself to where they want to?
thus being the omnipotent divinity.
are we capable of ascending such providence?
are we deserving of such power and control?
are we just humane... or divine..?

the divinity of human acts..
when faced and challenged by the jaws and fangs of the world..
the cold and bitter miseries of living..
are our aptitude enough to carry such threats and burdens?
what rewards and gratitudes do we receive or expect for conquering?
to overpower the wolves and sharks of the world?

Money.. Work.. Stress.. Burdens..
the worldly issues of absolute greed and sins..
the covet and jealousy of one's being.
the weariness and tiredness of working.
yet what rewards does the almighty receive?

excellence receives more work
richness attracts burglers
innocence results in cheats
the vile society rips even the purest and true
the ruthless environment pushes beyond limits
the cruel world sends deities down rock-bottom

but it doesnt matter what people want you to be..
but it doesnt matter what people think you should be..
but it doesnt matter what people hope you become..
does it?

you are the ruler of your own life.
the omnipotent force in your world.
the majesty of your own fate and destiny.

thus. what matters is what you want.
thus. what matters is what you hope for.
thus. what matters is what you aim for.
thus. what matters is what you work for.

noone can force you to be what you choose not to be.
life is but a journey within your grasp.
why forgo the control of absolute power?

your future is where you set yourself to go
your future is what you seek to have
your future is who you wish to be
your future is why you should strive all along
your future is how you acheive your goals
your future is when you found meaning to life

where your treasure lies, there your heart lies too.
where does your future point to?
you are the alpha and omega of your own life.
you are God of interposition.
dont forgo the power. dont forgo the control.
dont forgo life.

unhappiness kills

2007-05-31T03:59:00.000+08:00

Trauma is a killer; unhappiness is the grim face of neurosis, and neurosis is the trigger initiating almost every human condition. We encounter illness because we are already ill, sick with the neurosis born of emotional deprivation. And we are deprived because our parents were deprived, or our siblings, or our elders, through ignorance, through circumstance, through neglect.

We must uncover and disarm the nature of our emotional wounds, quantify our stunted development and strive to understand the complex nature of our psychological inheritance. If we fail, then we fail not just ourselves but our children and our successors in this world; we suffer and spread emotional trauma, which feeds the neuroses that upset the balance of our human destiny; and pain, illness and grief are the contagion of ignorance.

This is not a religious or a spiritual matter; it is a matter of social and psychological development, and I believe we are all jointly responsible for our societies' emotional growth and social health. Our prisons are full of people with emotional wounds, drawing attention to their crisis in the only way they know how, through violence, outrage and disorders of every kind. We blame drugs; but narcotics are the refuge of neurotics, and we are fast running out of prisons....

hold on..

2007-05-31T03:52:00.000+08:00

This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all (hold on)
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to know more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for
but you don’t want to know more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...
hold on

What are you looking for? What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...
Hold on...

maybe things get better..
maybe things goes to past..
maybe... jsut maybe..
life is meant for greater heights..
soar higher.. rise above..
dont waste life?
hmm...

worries

2007-05-31T03:50:00.000+08:00

worries..
a burden off my chest..
a new one arises..
challenges my faith & beliefs..
got it off..
new ones comes in..
push me off limits..
overcomed it..
new ones again..
tried my best..
yet new ones once more..

a vicious cycle..
a long journey of endless misery..

overworked..
overloaded..
over commitments..
overjoyed too?
contradictions..
nth more den contradictions..
nth more den me..

regrets regrets..

2007-05-31T03:47:00.000+08:00

school..
all too late to change..
nth matters but hard work..
what can i do about it?
fight on? work hard?
i missed too much to cont...
am i right again??
someone prove me wrong pls..
i need help..
i need motivation..
i am inspired by the technology..
but IT?
oh please..
im screwed..
no interest.. cant catch the balls..
cant drop?
im dead..
my darling's school is dying too..
i wish i was in her shoes..
to work for her sake..
i can handle hers..
i udnerstand them..
more or less..
but mine..
all too alte for changes..
work double hard to catch up??
im so done for this sem...
all dead..
arhs!!!!
never should i have skipped..
but den again..
it was for necessary's sake?
i guess?
more or less?
oh well..
what can i say..
im screwed..
but den again..
maybe i can catch up..
but den again..
i dont even need this diploma..
but den again..
i proved myself wrong again..
but den again..
when have i ever done right..
when...

life greatest..

2007-05-30T13:28:00.000+08:00

Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you've got the power
To make me weak inside
And girl you leave me breathless
But it's okay
Cuz you are my survival
Now hear me say

I can't imagine Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter Maybe not
Cause I have known the safety
Of floating freely in your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
Cuz only you can save me

Oh, can't you see
I can't imagine
Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowining me in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love

life's greatest happiness is finding love.
one that appreciates who you are and makes you better..
one that stays and stands by you through times when you need it most..
one that is true and innocent to its meanings and virtues..
one that is honest and pure..
life's greatest happiness.. is finding.. you... my love..

________________________________

爱你, 不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你, 每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever 才了解自己,
未来这些日子要好好珍惜
爱我有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风深情温柔的安抚,
我的不安定所以我要每年研究你的笑容
wo~~ 多么自然

forever love forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后, 你会是所有
幸福的理由

爱情, 是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化我的不安定
不可思议证明我爱你的理由
wo 多么自然
你感动的眼睛,
我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
i love you ~~ 直到永远
oh forever love
forever love
forever love

life's greatest heartache is losing those that matters..
those who made you who you are..
those who you appreciated and felt sorrows for losing..
those who once made an impact in your life..
left a smile or a tear..
life's greatest heartaches is losing the friends that matters..
and losing the love that once held dear...

i will never lose you vivien.. never..
i will never let you go..

but life's unpredictability leaves no second chance..
sorry to those i have left a tear in..
sorry to those i have hurt and left heartaches
sorry to those that once mattered..
im sorry...

shi-ne

2007-05-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

oppression, suppression..
a verge of cerebus..
my feelings so deep
regret, forget..
incur the fury of life..
a life so gone & down
depression, obsession..
the thin line that lies ahead..
im walking towards it
endure the wrath of nature's full-fledge strider..
time.. the magnifest of everything within..
bear the snares of its griting teeth..
as it lays concealed of its bemused victim..
the flaring storms of time draws deep wounds...
bleed and heal.. but time wavers on..
a mere rock can turn wall..
a hard-rock with nowhere to turn
asset.. liability..
which makes the call?
a guilt or a blessing.. im lost.
objection.. rejection..
the final move that ends it all..
who has the rights to make that call
optimistic.. utopia..
a simple hope lights the way
leaving forkroads of similar consequence
the weariness and tiredness of trying..
the pillage of goods seized from the 7 seas..
the honour and righteousness challenged by time itself..
the anguish of lost pain and sufferings..
the anguish of frozen bones and buried bodies..
the anguish of a much long forgotten memories..
regret? too late. lost? no chance.
burdened? too often. dead? no time.
shi-ne. it means to die.

counter force

2007-05-22T01:16:00.001+08:00

ok. i sensed that my previous entry was kinda emo..
thus...

Four years you think for sure
That’s all you've got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immatureT
hen when you graduate
You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT!
This is the same as where I just came from
I thought it was over
Aw that’s just great

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends

Check out the popular kids
You’ll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom’s straight
And the only thing that matters Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or thirty-five
Reese Witherspoon, She’s the prom queen
Bill Gates, Captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown
Brad Pitt, the quarterback
Seen it all before I want my money back!!

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex
Who’s in the club and who’s on the drugs
Who’s throwing up before they digest
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
And you still listen to the same shit you did back then
High school never ends
High school never ends

-High school never ends by bowling for soup.

Awesome funky & hippy song.
perfect to cheer one's mood. :)

Journal

2007-05-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm...
past week..
work work..
did my PP most of the nights..
work 1,3,5
met my darling almost everyday..
school... sucking my energy dry..
the pressure...
the coming days..
the coming datelines..
supressed..
lost..
confused..
anxiety..
mixed feelings..

not much have happened recently but..
much thoughts run by..
those who knows knows..
those who dont its ok..
thoughts are mere thoughts..
a mind boggling situation where the endless contradictions are seen.
the pros & cons so called, "Weighed"
but nothing can be weighed..
not situations..
its subjective..
its perception..
its biased..

romance..
brain cells dying..
trying... but failing..
disappointed 2 times already..
no more i promise..
no more i hope..
just need more..
i expect more myself..
i expect more from myself..
you are so sweet..
you are genuine unlike the b****..
i treasure u & love u..
but sth seems wrong..
i seem to have lost it..
why..
why.. i ask myself..
how could i..
the pressure?
the past?
i need a hug..
i need your love..
i need reassurance..
i need recognition..
i need you..
so much... so much.. so much..

work's fine & fun... but seems like managers disagree....
some mistakes here & there.. mostly table numbers..
bad memory coming back to me..
laziness coming back to me too
skipping school..
hibernating at home..
dependance on romance..
prioritised first..
lacking time..
need more time..
for friends, for family, for myself, for love..
missing so much now..
bball... prata.. seafood.. chom chom.. stargirl... jamming..
so much to do..
so little time..
so screwed..
:(

War

2007-05-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

the war presses near..
time pass by and the preparation seem in disarray..
the enemy seems ready..
ready to pounce on the dying men..
yet morale is low..
strength is weakened..
days draws near to the coming war..
all hope seems lost but a lonely torch in the icy snow..

"light it up. the beacon of hope"
commanded the leaders of the pack..
yet it just seems to late..
its all too late for the last minute preparations..
its all too late for the reinforcements to arrive..
you have to depends on ourselves now..
to improvise to the situation..

preparations seems ready.. but it is not..
food seems enough.. but it is not..
water seems to suffice.. but it is not..
the war seems to depend on this battle.. but it wont..
there are two to be determined..
two so important and close..
both battles to be won..

no tears is expected..
no heartaches or disappointment..
with the coming war that draws near..
what preparations are left undone..
may just be undone...
the war..
the victory..
the lost..
it all lies within the days..
time..
so important..
so dead..

encrypted message

2007-05-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

5 different people

2007-05-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

there are only but 5 types of people in this world

1) Nice & stupid
2) Nice but too smart
3) normal & boring
4) Stupid Jackass
5) Smart jackass

a recent psychological test shows that 40% of people falls within the range of normal but boring, 15% at cat 1, 18% at cat 2, 23% at cat 4 and only 4 % at cat 5. THERE ARE RARE CASES FOR SMART & JACKASS! :)

most people in life are boring and normal, better defined as simple. rarely are there smart people, being jackasses ( i know one. Mr Foo!) and a good misture of the rest. thus, life is easy.

you see a jackass, just run. theres always a better choice. :)
there are never short of men out there.
better yet, there are never short of chances & opportunity in every corner up for grabs.
why waste time trying to fix a bad problem good.
move on to the better and work with it.

a Teens Magazine survey conducted last month indicates..

52% of the world's population are described as UGLY while 36% of the world's poulation are described as average and only 12% are seen as beautiful.

be it a handsome boyfriend or pretty girlfriend, be it an ugly relative or a pretty, good hearted one.
move on with life.
dont be stagnant.
dont be stuck.
move...
on..

爱的主旋律 & Can you feel the love tonight

2007-05-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

男：是你在那个雨季走进我生命带着一点任性和温柔的表情
女：是你在那个雨季赶走了孤寂温暖的笑容换我仅有的甜蜜

男：天上一万颗星星我却只看见你你说这是幸运还是不可思议
女：身边有太多风景我却停在这里说我傻的可以还不是因为你

男：是你的声音
女：带给我勇气

男：恋爱的频率
女：直到我心底

男：如果你愿意
女：是的我愿意

合：带着我幸福的主旋律
男：从前的实际
女：现在我相信
男：天空会放晴
女：爱会更甜蜜
男：如果你愿意
女：是我的愿意

合：爱的主旋律

__________________________

There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we areIt's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this farAnd can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

teenage rape

2007-05-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

Rape is a form of assault where an individual forces another to have sexual intercourse against that person’s will. Most experts believe the primary cause of rape is an aggressive desire to dominate the victim rather than an attempt to achieve sexual fulfillment. They consider rape an act of violence rather than principally a sexual encounter.

Rape is generally considered one of the most serious sex crimes and can be very difficult to prosecute. Sexual violence can also be a war crime under international law. Consent may be absent due to duress arising from the use, or threat, of overwhelming force or violence, or because the subject is incapacitated in some way such as intoxication and/or underage innocence.

A United Nations report compiled from government sources showed that more than 250,000 cases of rape or attempted rape were recorded by police annually. The reported data covered 65 countries, including Africa, Singapore, China and even New Zealand. However most rapes-61% are not even reported to police. One factor relating to this is the myth that rapists are strangers hiding in bushes. In reality 38% of victims were raped by a friend or acquaintance, 28% by "an intimate" and 17% by another relative. Only 16% were committed by a stranger to the victim. About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim's own home. Two in ten take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. And only one in ten take place outside, away from home.

Child Rape also has been up in crime's hands lately. a total compilation of 69,000 over child rape issue have been reported in 2006 in Asia, with more than 9000 from Nepal, 6000 from China and 4000 from Malaysia. With Nepal leading the crime rates of over 100,000 since 1999 to date. Moreover, in Thailand, over 60% of kids have chosen to be a child prostitute earning more millions buds thus placing them the 6th largest earning business in Asia and the largest Red Light District business in the world.

Child sexual abuse is widespread, cutting right across any economic, social, political, religious or race boundaries. It is an issue which is being vehemently addressed right across the political spectrum and it is time that men struggling against both their own and society's sexism began to consider what it is, and what preventative action can be taken. The law also tends to make conviction difficult. Again, a child's word against an adult's may be disbelieved. The court situation is an intimidating one, which can result in children feeling confused, that they are mistaken, that they are partly to blame.Proposals are coming forward to ensure that the legal procedure meets the child's needs. Likewise, police methods as regards child sexual abuse and rape are being brought under a much needed and long overdue scrutiny.

In the legal books, the DEATH sentence is given to ANY forms of child prostitution, pornography or rape cases in most U.S states and Europe. however, crime spreadits wings in Asia. In asia, child sexual abuse is known as Statutory rape, which basically is the crime of sex with a minor under the age of consent (AOC, 18), the age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent to sexual conduct. The law may be strict and punishment is loose. Only a life setence is given on accord of the severity of the abuse and forms of rape. Thus, it is safe to say... the law is NOT doing its job to these offenders.

A quick reference will be the papers just days ago abuot a young girl that got MOLESTED by her DAD. (refer up.. 17% of rape cases comes from relatives.. WTF!) moreover, it happened in their own home (40%). in front of the other family members. Men are animals. Brute and cruel. the lack of sensitivity and sensibility rips the mind apart and forces the desires out to even a young 13-year-old girl. but the law cant do anything can it? a simple life setence is given to the guy and the case actually dragged for two years till just a week ago when the man is finally conviceted behind bars.

Under current laws, having sex with girls under 18 is considered statutory rape, punishable by up to five years in jail and a fine of S$10,000 (US$5900). Prostitution is legal in Singapore but pimping and public solicitation are not. Licensed brothels operate in designated areas, some of them catering to the large community of foreign male workers. note this. its CASH PUNISHMENT and a simple 5 years jail sentence with no CANING or PUBLIC SERVICE involvements.

Efficient is what the legalistive system of Singapore is known for. but what is Effectiveness to it? Crimes does run free. Child abuse? its a sad sad world..

what is love?

2007-05-17T01:26:00.000+08:00

Love is a strange and beautiful thing,
It spans time and space, distance is no object to love.
You will wait forever for the one you love,
Travel wherever you need to be with them.
When you are in the arms of the one you love,
That love can make a moment last a lifetime,
Yet make a lifetime seem no more than a moment.
When love is distant it grows strong,
When it returns it flowers.
People crave it, strive for it, fight for it, and die for it,
And when they find it, they know they are complete.
For in the arms of the one we love is wholeness,
Belief, completeness, passion, and security.
The one we love is someone for whom we would do anything,
And never ask for anything in return.
It produces a love of all that person is and will ever be,
Regardless of what that may mean to me.
Love knows that when you are away,
That you are still loved, cherished, thought after, and missed
By the one you love,
And they know that you love them back.
That is Love.

That is my love to you.

Black & white

2007-05-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

Black and white,
obaque or transparent,
what am i?
who am i?
invisible or true?

Black and white,
right or left,
which am i?
where am i?
lost or found?

Black and white,
hate or love?
when will i?
how will i?
now or never?

black and white,
contrast in between,
lost for words to match the dif,
now standing before the very same cliff,

do or die,
live or shame,
lost of courage to pull it through,
find no paths to solve this clue,

fight or run,
stay or move,
the will to stay match the will to leave,
the power so strong pulled back for dree.

now or never,
eternal in flames,
lost in transition,
far within the mind..

Plain white - hey dililah

2007-05-12T01:09:00.000+08:00

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it al
lEven more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

the scarred tree

2007-05-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

thought of sth meaningful and decided to make a story from it.

once, there was a tree. the biggest, wisest, oldest tree in the forest.
one of which he thought he was the best.
but much as life has taught.
noone's perfect. not even god.
god cannot create a rock he cannot lift. (paradox)
and this tree, he just cannot stop providing shade and fruits for the animals of the forest

one day, the forest had a fire. everyone ran and all that passed him ignored his sayings and refused to let him into the happenings.
the poor old tree was left there alone.
soon, the fire spread and the tree was alone standing before it.
it got burnt badly.. on the front side of his tree.
scarred now is this tree forever, burnt and wounded deep.
the animals came back the following days and apologised and tried to make it up to him.
but it was too late, the tree was scarred forever.

everyone including the tree thought it was the end.. the tree has lost its will to provide shelter.. the tree has lost its will to bear fruits.. the tree was lonely and left there by himself..
but it was not the end.. the wise owl flew by several days later and noticed the crying tree.

'say old tree... why are you crying? you are the wisest, oldest and strongest tree in the forest. you can give shade, give fruits and above all, support people.'

'but what use am i if none were to help me in times of need?what use am i if i cant bear fruits nor gives shade? my leaves are burnt, my branches are broken, my bark is scarred. what use am i as a tree?'

'no fear my friend, scarred you may be now, but only the ones that have been through the burns know the taste of fire. only those who's gone throught the pain knows the cure. my friend, the leaves may be gone but grow them back, the branches may be broken and grow them back, your bark may be scarred but be proud. it symbolises your wisdom, your strength and courage. you know the fire's pain and depth. you can help people go through the fire. you can help people prevent the fire. you know the cure to burns. give shade as forms of helping words. bear fruits as forms of burnt antidotes. for you are the tree. a tree is dug deep in the soil, it stands strong and you can bounce back. life is filled with fire and burns. be proud for that you are scarred. you are not broken and torn down. you are just merely taught a lesson. share the lesson. help the needs. spread freely your leaves and branches. stand firm and stonr gyour roots and stem. be proud of your burns and scars. have faith in yourself.'

nothing is impossible to overcome,
someone out there will help and is willing to lend u a hand.
somone out there must have been through what you are/have.
you are never alone in this world. life comes in pairs.
chromosones are in pairs, gender is in pairs, the sky is paired with contrast.
everything is naturally paired.
noone is alone in this world.
someone out there will be the owl to bring you wisdom.
someone out there will be the tree to guide u through & enlighten u with his experiences.
someone out there will also be the animals that runs away & refuse to help.
but everything is just a blessing in disguise.
each path u take, each move u make,
u will rach a different destination.
but how different can it be?
one thing is for sure.
noone is alone to face challenges and obstacles.
i believe everyone in life have many friends.
the true ones stays and help.
the true ones are the tree and owl if you need.
let the animals run and ignore if they want.
appreciate the owl's wisdom.
learn to seek help from the tree.
rejoice for the animals have left.
be proud of your scars.
you may just be the owl if you try.
you may just be the tree in time.
love everyone as u wish they would unto you.
kindness begets kindness.
it does.. it really does..
never fear your scars and shame it.
never regret the paths u make.
for whatever is done is done.
make the best outta it.
that's life's greatest achievement.

fatigue

2007-05-12T00:38:00.000+08:00

fatigue have gotten to me..
im tired..
so tired..
think im dying soon..
from the mental blockade and physical loss..
no motivation to work..
no motivation to go to school..
no motivation at all..
hmm... should i quit?
keep my day free or keep my night free?
or better yet. kill myself for 2 years and join ren?
den make myself very free for a year..
o well..
im missing my dearest alot..
skipped sch yet again..
high fever..
excessive swelling at my throat..
uber tired..
but someone came along and brightened my day..
made me brand new and of course..
it was none other den...
well u know..
damn.. missed UT and missed norman;s cele..
but still.. i will make it up to him tml. :)
i've got many good friends ard.. i've come to realise how impt they are to me..
i've come to realise how impt i am to them..
but some are just not worth mentioning..
seems like i have that short span of interest problem..
i like working..
but i hate the fatigue..
o well.. love makes me new.. :)
but then again.. i got too much that i want..
just too much.. like what zoee said in her blog..
action = reaction..
i acted.. now im reacting..
:)
fatigue took the better of me today.

I wanna be loved

2007-05-09T14:00:00.000+08:00

I had a roof over head
Had shoes on my feet
Yeah sure I was fed
But no one was there when I was in need...

yeah So who am I now?
Who do you want me to be?
I can forgive you but I won't relive you
I ain't the same scared kid I used to be
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

I found a picture, our so called family tree...
yeah I broke all the branches looking for answers
Don't you know that it ain't how it supposed to be
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try,
willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be!

I ain't gonna cry, I don't want to scream
But I got so much left unsaid inside of me
Taken from
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try,
willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

Reminiscence

2007-05-09T11:31:00.000+08:00

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together,
doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms I don't want to run away,
I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..

No promises I don't wanna run away,
I don't wanna be alone
No Promises Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
now and forever my love
No promises

missing the times of simplicty,
where truth is misted and never knew...
when times are so silly and fun..
but now..
times are sweet and still so indulged i live..
u make my heart sink deep.
:)

randomness - poetry

2007-05-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

I am beautiful.
so delicate & true.
i see the hope & courage,
of petals in bloom.
as long as i am, i will be,
the flower shall never wilt or die.
i will depend on solely one,
that solely one is me,
i raise my petals high above,
that i shall prosper and bloom above,
i may not be the pick of a patch,
but i am beautiful like the rest.

i will stand as one, but not a lonely soul,
the tears shall shun from my smiles and so,
i live my life so beautifully,
i think of myself as only pure and true.
i am beautiful

____________________________________

They say time is precious,
That time is of the essence,
But what is this illusion?
What is time?

It goes by, they say,
But I don't see anything.
They even say,
How time flies,
Does it have wings?

Never have I seen it,
Never have I understood,
But I do know some things,
I know the time that I'm away from you.

Time is precious.
It is of the essence.
But no time is worth my time,
Unless that time is spent with you.

How time weighs heavily on my heart.
Oh, how time does eat away at me.
Time is not physical, but rather spiritual,
For no time is more spiritual then when you're with me.

i miss you my lovely lady,
i love you so my dearest one,
my darling stargirl..

_________________________

I am a twinkling star
shining high in the sky
with my brother and sister stars
all around me.
And we dance and we sing
with our undying beauty.
And when our sparkling lights burn out
a door closes us and captures us
in a pool of darkness
of which we aren't familiar.
one known only as life
a darkness of force in the mind
it rips it tears it destroys.
but so does the hpoe and light in there
hope can be found in the darkness
the darkness of life.

______________________________________

A man that made an impression on strangers and friends.
Quiet but firm and even more stern.
Strength and courage I have learned from you,
but being without you is hard to do.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

The tears I've shed cannot surpass the smiles and the laughs we had with you.
To feel your pain I could not do,
to feel your joy I cannot explain,
but being without is hard to do.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

A man that defined the word grand as only a real man can.
To know you're in a better place soothes my pain.
Knowing you're happy and always true makes me sane.
A man i am to keep you safe.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

Good man die young.. tahts only cause capable people and rewarded with nothing but more work. think about it, how true isit?

2007-05-09T01:29:00.000+08:00

You kissed my lips and I felt a flutter in my heart,
You touched my hand and lit a spark in my body,
You stared into my eyes and saw straight into my soul,
You put your arms around me and I was finally complete.

when im near you, you make me weak,
your eyes it sparkles and blinds me,
your love it's heavy, so full and filled with the good will and joys and sweetness,
you, its so perfect, its so appropriate, it makes me want you so much more.

You are to me
All that an angel could be
My love for you
Is here for all the world to see
The gleam in your eyes
Is what keeps me alive
You are the vision of beauty
I see in front of me
The minor sound of your sweet voice
Is enough to make my heart rejoice
You're an Angel to me
The most beautiful person
This world shall ever see
A special place in my heart
I shall forever have for thee
You are my love
You are my world
You are this Beautiful Angel to me

You make my world perfect,
you make my world neat,
you make me complete,
you are contagious.

the month spent with you was special,
it gave me new sightings,
i love you, much more now and more to grow.
we have much to share and much have shared.
you mentioned that we dont seem 18?
that only cause we seem to be *lao fu lao qi*
lovers aged together in time,
the present, past and future i speak so much of.
believe it them, trust in them, have faith it will come true.
trust me that u wont regret and i wont give up.
believe me that i will love you deep and long,
have faith in us that time will befriend us,
that our love will stay... last and most important... grow..

Aishiteru.
my love now runs long in the rivers and valleys in our souls,
it flies high and above in our minds and sinks deep within our hearts,
it is solid and strong that it grounds our life,
it is so perfect, tender and oure it brings sweetness forever to us.
my love to you, its genuine.
its eternal, believe me that nth can do us part.
our love is strong and powerful.
always look back to my gifts and remember our promises.
forever,... will u be mine, and me be yours..
reminiscent our times of joys.. for much more will come...
and nothing will end or be less... only changes of more and better will come to pass...

If words could express
My feelings for you
How would you react
If you truly felt it true?

Would you laugh, would you cry
Would any emotion show
Or would you stay silent
And just wish it never goes away?

My heart skips a beat
At the sound of your name
I try to calm down...
I try in vain

To me, you're perfect
None even come close
From the tips of your hair
To the tips of your toes

Into your eyes
I could gaze forever
None can surpass
None is better

I could say, "I love you"
But that's just a start
If only words could express
The feelings in my heart

the deep strong powerful feelings
that grows to say it more
that i love you forever
and eternally im yours.

topic as discussed

2007-05-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

seems like the only topic offered is er.. xiaotian?

haha. thus, this is for her.

LOVE IS A BLESSING BROUGHT FROM ABOVE.
WHEN YOU FOUND IT, HOLD IT! KEEP IT! TREASURE IT!

i know you have love, love it, hold it, keep it. :)

LEECHUATIO!
I REMEMBER YOUR WARNING FOR THE KIDNAPPING!

THUS,
HERE IS KIDNAPPER JOSHUA,
GVING HIS REPLY,
THOUGH LATE,
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HIS SITUATION,
THE KIDNAPPED BITES,
SHE IS A DIFFICULT TARGET AND HAVE BEEN BRINGING LOTS TO ME,
THUS, I HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE HER BACK TO YOU!
TAKE IT AND I NEED NO RANSOM!

thats only cause i already have her. hehe. im hers and she's mine. wee!!!

good people die early

2007-05-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

ever wonder why good people die young?

ren & i were talking about it the other day and i think he's right.

good people are the ones capable of doing things... which means in life, when you're capable, you dont have special (good) treatment but, you get even more special (bad) treatment. more work!!

think about it. if you're good at thinking, you get thrown work and problems to solve,
if you're good at programming, you get thrown software and IT to work with.

thus, good poeple will in turn become overworked and soon and definitely, drive them to their limits and thus, their deaths.

why isit however that the lazy ones and simple ones live longer? (proven in a scientifc test)
could it be that they are less worried and affected by many things?
such as the workload or the need to please.
thus, could it be true that working your mind more will kill you earlier?

hmm. seems like being nice is a bad thing now, you think for the others sakes, think for the best possible solutions and even think about ways of achieving things.

thus, i would say, be selective. be nice to the right ones but bite hard when the ones that tramples goes overboard.

to you: you trampled on my tail. one more inch and i bite. try me.

Accident prone.

2007-05-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

alright. sth's up with my com. either its virus infected or just that blogger's messing with me. o, what the heck, it doesnt matter. im in a good mood.

ok. whr do i start. for starters, this is a pure simple recap of what happened in the past say.. 48hours. what simply means. its boring if u dun care.

so, first of, its my 1st monniversary!!!! congrats to myself and my darling vivien. well, had the surprises instored all worked out well. she was dumb enough to er.. not know theres no school? lol. well... its a blessing in disguise, we went pizza hut and off to work she goes and the night plans came through. real romantic day i hope. hehe.

well,.. i must say im just not cut out for the late night. im just say... not used or rather.. complicating things a little too much all the time. but heck, my darling did a splendid job to cool me down and well... fantastic day/night at her place.

went to work just couple of hours ago where an accident happened and everyone started to panic. one of my colleague even cried. everyone was worried and curious and headed out to get a clear view. all but some, including me, just standing there. wondering..

can ever someone be unlucky enough to be called prone to accident and heartaches? well, personally, i think luck has this driving force in it that keeps people believing. luck in some forms of mythology is a god itself. this god, luck plays with the human mind according to the myth and lets in blessings that rips everything away as pleasure of his point.

people were taking down the license number for a chance in luck, the 4D winnings. this led me thinking.. have luck any play in life?

life is just a maze waiting to be unsolved.
- Paul Dickson

well, life is a maze where theres folkroads EVERYWHERE. every decision may lead into a dead end where even turning back may seem too difficult or impossible. thus, does luck aafect the destination? or even, does fate determine your direction? every decision in life brings in the pros and cons. be it simple or tough, life is filled with the multi decision making sessions and it forms a maze where every time u make a decision, you think u get closer to somewhere, but you never know where the road leads. life is unexpected, life is as a maze.

that's why i think time is precious. a long decision may just end u in a place with no return and worse, even losing much. thus, this maze must be known how to solve before trying.

life is experiencing. if you never take the step, you will never move. staying stagnant at the start and when time runs out, theres nth to look back but much to look forward to yet, time robs it all form you.

but on the other hand, if you took the step and ends up in a wrong place, the decision made somewhere somehow went wrong. thus, it puts you in a dilemma or doing or not. but here's the thing. if you never ever try, you will never ever know. besides. being wrong is much better than being lsot. you must know where you are aiming to head rather than be still thinking all the time.

if life was a maze, im sure i will be the one to light up the dark paths towards the destination that lays your dreams, your fantasies and only your joys. i will be the guide that leads you through, i will be the light that shines your path, i will be the maze even, to see that your life goes meaningful and that our love.. it stays marvelous..

relating back to the topic, the accident left me thinking... people's minds are easy to manipulate, where religion comes in to bring hope. even luck, gives hope to people. even in a situation of accidents where people almost dies.

imust say this, luck is nothing in measure to the wraths of nature, time being the key. time can be the healer or destroyer. dont waste time. time is precious. life is fragile. everyone's prone to accidents. be it now, soon or even later, your life is insignificant to many things in life and these may just end your life sooner than you thought. time comes into place as you must treasure and appreciate every moment in life. be it bad or good, it happens for a reason and is part of the maze. take that step and accept everything that comes. ony den can you be clear of your destination. life is fragile. treasure every moemnt and people.

i treasure you.
i love you.
you are my precious.
my dearest one of all,
vivien my love.

of course, not to mention i treasure my dear friends and family too. :)

9 1215215 22

2007-05-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

down deep
or high up
i will be there.
i promise.

Compassion

2007-05-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

What compassionate and heart-warming people sin__poreans are.

not meaning to discrimate or verbally abuse people but,
come on.. how hard is it to take just a small step to help and lend aid to those who needs?
come on.. how hard is it to to just help instead or pointing the finger? worse yet, turning an eye away is just an act of cowardice. not wanting to help is the same as killing the needy ones.

let me explain.

first of, from personal experience.
ever been in a tight situation where everyone just plainly watch and comment yet noone lend their helping hands?
well imagine this, getting caught between the bus door and frame and REPEATEDLY slamming it against the head's of a kid. note this. it is a KID.
why? how nice of them to be going..

'Hey hey, look, he's bleeding.'
'o yea, he is.'

the pillars to the future of sin__pore.
the lack of initiative, motivation, compassion and above all else, integrity and pride.
how amazing the world will be when these 'Pillars of the future' take the world by STORM. (literally storm - THUNDER STORM)
having the lack of more than just the upbringing and pampering of parents, these pillars have taken for granted the peaceful and simple life of their education and support of the government to the extend that the HIGHER EDUCATED students a.k.a CATHO__C HIGH students fail to even help the KID when trapped in a situation of helplessness and pity.

much more examples to go such as simple tasks such as ledning a hand to carry some books or heavy things from people that you can OBVIOUSLY see that they need it. but some just oblivionly just ignore! even if they dont need it, a simple question like, 'can i get that for you?' will surely brighten his day. how difficult is it?

sure as hell people say that being nice will be taken for granted by,
but think about it this way.
what's worse is taking into heart that life is to be mean.
reasons are simple.

1) being mean causes negativities. it is proven scientifically that it uses MUCH MORE muscles to frown den to smile. further, it is also proven scientifically that cheerful and optimistic people have the tendency to allow blood circulation better and healthier lifestyle resulting in a longer life and better immunity system towards diseases and illnesses. thus, why risk to shorten your life by fretting and worrying over unnecessary things and causing frownings and sadness.

yet also, proven AGAIN by scientific evidence that sadness and tears from overwhelming grief and sorrow causes muscles in the eyes to go beyond their limits resulting in a risk of eye injury and death of eye cells causing a greater cahnce to have weakened eyesight.

thus, being mean will make someone DIE early because you caused a degree of influence towards their emotions and well, if you are mean in a consistent manner, time to be reflecting yourself my friend. by causing grief, you give yourself grief as well. as well, re-read this paragraph will ya?

2) giving is living

Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.
-Earl Nightwood

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
-many people

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
-Princess Diana

well, our attitude in life forms our character. when you help, you receive help when needed.
by giving help, you feel good. by lending a helping hand, you become 'nice'
NICE may be an overly used word that ahs lost its meaning but, being nice is simply put,
-the act of charity and goodwill-
kindness begets kindness. true enough when you give help, the degree of acceptance is received by individuals be it big or small and they will surely and definitely remember it. whether they return the favour depends entirely on the degre they accept the help and the extend of help given. but think about again. what bad can be caused for making more goodness around? rather than fear and worry over the lies and dark truth that cannot be revealed cause of harms did, going an extra mile by helping and actually being there brings in much more smiles than you could expect.

3) life is a journey not a consequence.

One man can make a difference
-spiderman
(awesome movie btw.)

Happiness is not a reward - its a consequence.
Suffering is not a punishment - it is a result.

life is a journey. the mistakes you make, the choices you choose, the paths you take,
they are all the journey at work. life is the biggest opportunity to make a difference. to make it matter. once in this lifetime, you can be who you want to be, dare to take the step, dare to make the risk.

thus, what's most important in this journey is the discipline.
the discipline to act, to control and to take pride.
you must have the initiative to work, to ability to take challenges and make sacrifices and the control of what to do and what not to. and above all, take pride of your achievements, be it failure or success, this journey is yet to end so soon.

if being mean is what you think you should do to keep out of trouble, you have just lost half the journey. the journey to a better being, the journey to something higher and betterthan what you thought you could be.

thus, my question post to my dear readers is this..
have you made a difference?
do you have the compassion and hand to lend?
are you gonna be special?

if so, congrats. you are on the journey to a greater place.
if not, not too late to think about it now. life is not short. but, its not that long either. make the best out of it.

CELEBRATE OUR LOVE

2007-05-03T01:59:00.000+08:00

Believe in your heart
No matter what the people might say.
The chance you take could take you to the top. (joshua : to the top!)

Listen up
You know you gotta throw your fear away.
Together we can make it
Shake it up baby. (joshua: shake it up, Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh!)

Hear the voices rock the nation
A calling to the skies
I can see eternity is in your eyes.

Come on everybody theres a party to go to.
Theyre holding out for you! (joshua: wee!)
With every chance you take, a change you make.
The start of something new. (joshua: lets go!)

All around the world they are singing
Calling to the beginning.
Oh oh oh celebrate our love,
people with imagination.
Everywhere a celebration. (joshua: yea!!!!)

Oh oh oh celebrate our love!
Good to be free
Living out our own destiny.
The best will last forever
Never stop. (joshua : never stop!)

Gotta move
You know we gotta groove into the light.
Tonight will be the night that were breaking it up
Break it down baby. (joshua : yea yea)

Oh oh, oh oh, na, na, na, na, na. oh oh, oh oh
Celebrate our love.
Let the rhythm take control
Feel the fire burn within your soul.
Theres a magic in your eyes
Forever we can take the music thru the night.

To my stargirl...

2007-05-03T01:12:00.000+08:00

The thought manifests as the word.
The word manifests as the deed.
The deed develops into habit.
And the habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care.
And let it spring from love,
born out of concern for all beings.

True love never lives happily ever after;
true love has no ending.

-K.knight

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

-Mother Theresa

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.

-Luciano de Crescenzo

Is it possible
That someone like you
Could complete me?

You're the only one I want
The only one I think about
The only one I truly love

You've may me wrong next time
As I'ill do the same
But everyone makes mistakes
And your not one of mine

Be with me for the rest of time
I'll give you my heart
And you give me your mind
that we may see in time
our love shall magnify

i have nothing more to give you than my heart.
We were two and had but one heart.
i am my darling's and my darling is mine.

Romantic love reaches out in little ways,
showing attention and admiration.
Romantic love remembers what pleases you, excites her, and surprises you.
Its actions whisper, 'you are the most special person in my life.'

so, never say regret, never say no,
just say that you love me, and i shall love you also,
say that you need me and i will be here,
say that you miss me and i will stay here,
say that you want me and i will teleport,
say that you love me, and time shall join with us.

Love is a beautiful dream,
Love is not a matter of counting the years...
But making the years count...
making the dreams real..
making the fantasies true..
let me be your dream,
be your fantasy and hope,
let me deliever you what the world cant,
and let you deliever me what the world missed out.

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

-Franklin P. Jones

To love is to take delight in the happiness of another, or, what amounts to the same thing, it is to account another's happiness one's own.

-Gottfried Leibnitz

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years;
And every little absence is an age.

-John Dryden, Amphitryon

To love you is a blessing,
to have you is a delight,
to be loved by you creates tears,
but only tears of joy can be the ones that rolls,
delighted byt he blessing you created,
you made my ride worthwhile.

For years to come, months to pass and days to see,
i love you, loved you and will love you,
through past, present and future.
through the church doors, through the heaven's gates,
through time and everything that passes,
through all obstacles and challenges,
thats my love devotion for you.

Friendship

2007-05-03T00:58:00.000+08:00

friends....

Those who care, help and are there to share...
the ones that brightens your days, colours your world, and above all, gives you courage the face the horrors of the world.
friends comes and goes like many have experienced and believed so.
but true ones stays be it hidden or visible, they are the ones that helps, motivates, encourages and always seem to be the top of your phone list when you need them.
lets be honest, how true of a fren have you been?
take a sec and refresh yourself, have you done what others done to do?
as the bible goes, 'Do not to those you wish not them do unto you.'
treat everyone as family and nice enough, they treat you with the same degree of friendliness.
but then again, good people die young and... what's the point of being nice in the first place?
thus the contradicting truth behind living on this world.

who here agrees that friends are important?
but let me just say this, as important they are to you, you gotta appreciate them and treasure them. if not, why should they even bother?
with no fingers pointed, i must say, how many actually learnt to appreciate their friends?
its not something you just say it or just simply share time with them.
appreciating friends has a deeper meaning. you gotta the dos and do nots. you gotta know what is needed to help them with. but even knowing all these might not be enough. you gotta do what you preach. hypocritical friends are just not needed. have you done what is needed to call yourself my fren? have you done what is needed to be called true? ask yourself before saying things.,

life has a funny meaning to it.
the mroe you want something, they more it tends to stretch your limits to achieve it,
dare to sacrifice, dare to take it.
but many says friends are those who lifts you up to greater heights, the ones that brings you to take the things you sought. true? maybe to some, but to me, only the real and true ones does it.
you're all talk and never there. why should i? im done with trying. im done with taking the shits. im done with it.

thus, does friends come and go?
how many actually stays and does their part to be called true? to darely place their footprints onto your lives and say 'i've been here.' instead of, 'hey, i've trampled here!'
think about it now, are the trampling friends that stays for benficial gains or the ones that;s willing to share and help and just stay and be there?
friends? i have many... but...
or true friends? i have the necessary ones. stay if you want, but im done being nice to you.
its a conviction, preference is not enough.

destiny

2007-04-30T15:06:00.000+08:00

Lost, forgotten, without rhyme
Longing in my heart and mind
Awakened now, emotions saved
More than love, a promise made

As deepest ocean's brilliant hue
Reflect to heaven dreams of you
Spiraling in winds of time
More than love, I know you're mine

Celestial patterns, you in me
In emptiness I cease to be
Within our hearts a love divine
More than love, our souls align

A labyrinth of Earthly ways
Through infinite remaining days
Whispered dreams, a breath between
More than love, our destiny.

love

2007-04-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

when i fall in love, it would be forever,
without regrets, without remorse, without anything attached.

when i fall in love, it would seems so amusing,
to always be childish, drunk and always be faithful to you.

when i fall in love, it would be perfection,
where sweetness runs deep within, and love flows with it.

when i fall in love, it shall never be broken,
which is bonded by ties so tough and thick, like diamonds.

when i fall in love, our hearts shall be miracles,
when it smiles from within, it mends and bleeds when our hearts meet.

when i fall in love, chemistry will be performed,
of the high voltages striking out from loving eyes met.

when i fall in love, i will know how to say,
the most important things that matters, I love you. Forever and ever.

Casanova

2007-04-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

promiscuous describe the amourous behaviours of the casanova.

one who's inclined to get in yet, its none or many.
truth distorts itself to wavering lies where mist,
engalfs the very meanings attached within,
dense minds and racing beats boils the burning soul,
true absurdity brings forth the well thought up excuse.
zeal is the affections towards being loved,
open to the paths ahead and choices to make yet,
exhilarating as it gets, much cannot be done in my stake,
exposed are the weaknesses of the casanova where mistakes comes so naturally.
just another dropping of a tesla nuclear bomb,
obviously to destroy everything to mere dust and soil,
yet, the casanova stands still in the shock of the revealing ships,
caught in the act was he in love too deeply in one,
explained he tried but not to himself he could.
again the casanova have dropped into a pit,
really deep dark and in sync with hell of its very favours,
interesting should the casanova think jumping in is,
signs of counter forces to be ignored again as usual,
always being so ahead is the casanova, hasty and speedy.
tales of broken memoires brings back joys and reminiscene,
insights of the once good and beautiful memories,
now it wavers in the thine line of contriceptions,
getting nowhere it has and have been gone.
should the casanova choose to face death,
against the pride and ego it carries with him,
muster every ounce of strength he must to fight it off.

but its seems to him, casanova was not his path, not what he chose, not what he wished, he wished for safety, security, peace and singularity.

vying against the millions of lovebirds,
imperilled by the clipping of above heart bags,
vindicated he must of the burdens within to walk ahead,
into a new realm of much better and needed roads,
entered the casanova have and be renounced as new,
now, the casanova stands as a new being, known as the Kishi,

where kishi was borned a leader and guardian of love, to be the one for the only, the protecter, guardian and lover. Kishi, the man who have his dreams fulfilled, the man who only have one that matters, the one issue and burden he offered to carry, th eone that would take every else aside.

Be Without You

2007-04-28T18:17:00.000+08:00

Chemistry was crazy from the get go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't build nothin' over night
Cause a love like this takes some time
People swore it off as a phase said "We can't see that"
Now top from bottom they see that we did that(Yes)
It's so true that (Yes)
We've been through it(Yes)
We got real sh.. (Yes)
See, baby we've been

Too strong, for too long
And I can't be without you baby
And I'll be waitin' up untill you get home
Cause I can't sleep without you baby
Anybody who's ever loved you knows just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, Nothin' can replace it
Call the radio, If you just can't be without your baby

I got a question for ya
See, I already know the answer
But still I wanna ask you
Would you lie? (No)
Make me cry? (No)
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?
Well, neither would I baby, my love is on the up and up(Yes)
I'll be faithful (Yes)
I'm for real (Yes)
And with us you'll always know the deal
We've been

Too strong, for too long
And I can't be without you baby
And I'll be waitin' up untill you get home
Cause I can't sleep without you baby
Anybody who's ever loved you knows just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, Nothin' can replace it
Call the radio, If you just can't be without your baby

See, this is real talk
I'm gon' always stay (No matter what)
Good or bad (Thick and thin)
Right or wrong (All day everyday)
Now, if you're down on love
Or don't believe this aint for you (No this aint for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
Deep down You know that it's true
(Come on, come on, come on)

Well,let me see you
Put your hands up (Hands up)
Fellas tell your ladies she's the one
(Fellas tell your ladies she's the one)
Oh put your hands up (Hands up)
Ladies, let him know he's got your love
Look him right in his eyes and tell him we've been

I wanna be with you
Gotta be with you
Need to be with you

Be Without You -- Mary J Blige

XOXO,
your darling.

Most beautiful

2007-04-28T01:10:00.000+08:00

I’d give anything to see the sun set on the horizon,
I’d do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky;
Even a rainbow would make me smile,
And I’d love to swim in crystal clear waters
Of an untouched sea;
Sometimes I’ll see a shooting star,
And try to gaze from afar,
All the diamonds in the night sky;
The mist on the mountains is breathtaking,
As is walking in rainforest;
To see cascading waterfalls I’d do anything for,
As to stand on the highest peak in the world,
And look at the sights below;
I’d love to soar on wings above the clouds,
Across the bluest skies;
I’d do anything to see
All the beautiful things in the world,
Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara,
Like a river twisting through a dusty land,
All the beautiful things in the world

But I also know I am looking at
The world’s most beautiful creation,
Every time you smile,
And every time I look into your eyes,
it's an angel in disguise i stare,
your wonderful eyes, your wonderful smiles,
your long curly hair, your funny laughter and jokes (cold),
you make a new age of beauty, one so much more,
your tickles sets me laguhters, your hands give me support,
your hug gives me courage, you kiss brings me joys,
that's only because you're the wonder of the world,
an 8th in the counting, but there's still a 9th wonder,
that's the wonder of you being mine.
having you beautified my world, having you showed me love.
vivien, my love, my stargirl from above,
sent from god for me to adore, for me to hold,
i will thank god form the bottom of my heart,
that he gave me you, and sent me joys ten fold.

you who can make my heart bleed cause of smiles,
you who can make miracles and fantasies come true,
let me now show you miracles and fantasies,
of how love can be so powerful,
of how love can make one be so drunk,
of how love can make you so deep,
of how love can make us so strong,
of how love can make us beautify,
you who are the most beautiful creation.
you who can touch my heart so easily,
you who loves to tickle me so much,
you who i've barely even met,
you who gave me nothing but peace & smiles,
you who would surely wipe my tears,
you who can support & encourage,
you who simply said, is nearest to perfection.
love is so powerful do you know?

thas cause my love for you runs deep, flows far, flies high.
I love you so darn much darling vivien.... i miss you too much too... be with me forever? stand by me today, tomorrow, till time runs out? be with me at the ends will you? vivien... my most beautiful..

Lazy to think of title

2007-04-28T00:50:00.000+08:00

say... ruined was planned.

Hmm, what can i say.. plans after plans are ruined by my very smart stargirl.. always foiling my plans but still... it did bring her smiles. :) had some great time today and yesterday (though it was short). 21 days and i didnt see her for only 4 of them. haha. glued we have become.

Though my initial plans weren't carried out.. i sure hope you had fun? love ya lots! really wished for the best night this should become.. hope you enjoyed even though it wasnt as *ahem* black as it should have been. but as u said, it's fine as long as you're with me. hehe. thats sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. anyways, just wanted to say... love came to you again today. :)

Anyways, work ytd was really fun. learnt alot from my colleagues and it seems... NYDC is a much better place to work compared to others.. always better to be facing the crowd and anticipating them. still, service orientated jobs suits me best. wa ha ha! hope zoee's gonna work with me. :(

Well, skipped school again today, had no choice, alarm's shut by my violent tempers of getting woken up by it. guess my phone gotta need shields soon. damn.. my laziness is overtaking me soon, i hate school. oh gosh.. this sucks..

*sigh* here i am, at 1am, blogging... wondering what the other's are doing.. noone's online but my darling talking to me.. is this where my loneliness is seen? friends? i may have alot. but how many are actually true? i doubt myself. i doubt my courage. i doubt my everything,

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON!!! 18th BIRTHDAY BITCH! SUCKA!**

Well, i don't have much to blog about.. just wanted to type a huge chunk of stuff out.. thus, here it goes..

Hatred filled the enraging soul of a dying creed.
power was the intended fate and hope it seeks.
nothing seem to matter as long as kishi remains.
to guard protect and endure the concequence.
fight it shall always be doing, fearing nothing at all.
but failure of the king it has brought upon himself.
the princess is dear and safe and saint as intended.
but failed the kingdom kishi have, lost he is now.
nothing should matter as he determined before.
but now he thinks back and notices his mistakes.
without a king and kingdom, what is a knight?
with a princess and love in his life, is that enough?
enough he consoles hismelf, but within, he knows the truth.
but what can he do now? turn back and wail?
will forgivenss wait? or the red eyes or regrets?
will his seeking be cleared or rejected as always?
but then again, why him? he made no faults.
he gave his best as he always had, so why?
why should Kishi be the one that yet again try?
though many have done more and better, kishi remains true to himself.
that's only cause he is clear of his conscious.
how many actually knows about it? how many actually cares?
lonely should kishi be? loves he is at now, but time seems to be torturing.
retribution or fate? luck or destiny? kishi, lost in transition.

i hate myself for being this. i hate myself for failing. i hate myself for not being able to do anymore. i hate myself for making empty promises. i ahte myself for so many things. who can help me at all? this is not me turning desperation, im not having a depression, im not flaring or breaking, the volcano still stays asleep. i just regret. i just hate. i just remorse, i just feed bad. sorry seems to be the hardest word. but love is the only things that consoles me. love seem to still make me think of less. but time is torturing.. retirbution faces me? i hope not.. i seriously hope not.. i hate my past.. i hate my actions.. i hate so many.. but can love still be proper? with so much hatred stored in me.. so much secrets in me.. so much thoughts and opinions.. so much.. so god damn much.. lying on the verge of tears.. why? why am i thinking so much now... blogging nv helps.. it kills...
Stargirl: you make things so much better with you by my side. i need a hug now.. can i? i will never keep anything from you. i will never be bad to you. i promise my love is real and true. i promise my life to keep that promise. you are so much to me. i need you so much. i love you even more. i miss you so damn much again. what can i do? what can i do? vien.. can u show me eternity?.... im feeling so lost.. i wish you are here now.. i wish to tell u all..

The fellowship

2007-04-28T00:34:00.000+08:00

The fellowship of once strong bonds and ties,
tested through the flames of time and trust,
should this fellowship fail, gone are the hope and trust along.

The fellowship with what seemed perfect to begin with,
filled within themselves funand joys of happy times,
like summer times in our lives, those were the cocktail hours.

The fellowship trailed at the high courts through time,
one failure after another it starts to crumble,
headed to nowhere the fellowship went, one after another, they slowly left.

The fellowship of once tight and faithful bonds,
failed the test of time and trust,
lost are the ties that's once held dear, lsot are the hope of what's so real.

The fellowship have proven that eternity was fallacy,
that somethings cannot be forced nor wished,
that the act of deity powers or powers from above was mere wishful.

The fellowship now experiences a dying consent,
with more than conflicts and misunderstandings,
it stands in the face of hatred and regrets, consumed by rage and sorrows.

The fellowship that once was so free and genuine,
now turned to just a veritable obselete form of double-dealings,
deceitful, feared and cheated, robbed, pretense and smeared, ruined was the path ahead.

The fellowship now stands before a crossroad in time,
of smitherings and parting ways the light shines bright,
of hardship and forgivenss leads the lonely path dark and empty.

The fellowship of once dear and fun,
now begrime with soils of tears, anguish and remorse,
forgiveness seems so tough, regret seems so easy, failure seems ajust.

The fellowship of broken dreams and hope,
left behind scars of deep hurts and aches,
a repetition of past pains and wounds are all that it have brought upon.

The fellowship now faces a last stand for reconciliation,
but none responded to it's cry for need,
but none have made the effort to heed its call, to try once more to make it work.

It seems the fellowship will be broken.. slowly... painful... it will..

too much.. must.. give..

2007-04-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

Too much sweetness inside. must let it out.

My declaration.

My love for you runs deeper than any oceans or seas, it burns higher than any flames could reach, it reaches the ends of the world and stays at there for its the ends that i wish to walk with you to. No mountain can match my heights, no valley can match my depth, no sky can match the vastness of my love that is solely yours.

I wish i can tell u how much you mean to me, to tell you how much i love you. but no words can be used to measure or describe. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie!

let time be witness and see, that love can be forever and thee. for you my loved one beloved, nothing else should matter and wont. let eternity and forever see, that even though time have been short and smooth has our love been, nothing can come between us, to rob us of what we have. this love is so strong and deep, it makes me melt each time i see u, it makes me melt each time im near.

Your soft lips touches me, you warm embraces and hands. it makes me feel so lifted, up into the skies. but bring me down u wont. for i trust that you will keep my love, heart and mind. it will stay in you and yours in mine, that i will protect you forever. this is my love declaration..

Forever is how long i love you..
Always is how much i shall care..
Eternity is how long our love will last..
The ends of time is where we will go..
this is not a destinated journey..
this is a journey of time, with only u & me in time to pass,
that is my love declaration.

i will spend my time missing you, loving you and wanting you..
i will spend my life guiding you, protecting you and hugging you..
i will spend my everything to make you smile and laugh..
i will use my everything just to be by your side..

hear my heart say this lovebeat..
hear my mind think of you..
hear my words saying how much i wanna be your future..
hear my words saying how much i wanna be your present..
see my present fulfilling your fantasies..
see my future walking down the church with bells in marriage..
see our past filled with sweet memories together..
see our time pass under the gazing sky and stars..
see ourselves grow old together..
yet our love shall still stay forever...
thats how long and how far i've thought..
love started when i've found you..

Shakespear

2007-04-26T10:26:00.000+08:00

Is thine own heart to thine own face affected?
Can thy right hand seize love upon thy left?
Then woo thyself, be of thyself rejected,
Steal thine own freedom and complain on theft.
Narcissus so himself himself forsook,
And died to kiss his shadow in the brook.

Torches are made to light, jewels to wear,
Dainties to taste, fresh beauty for the use,
Herbs for their smell, and sappy plants to bear:
Things growing to themselves are growth's abuse:
Seeds spring from seeds and beauty breedeth beauty;
Thou wast begot; to get it is thy duty.

Shakespear's poetry never fails to astonish me. it never fails to get my thinking cap on.
Your beauty if all i covet. Your smile is all begot. Your everything torches my life up to light like jewels. i love u. :)

senseless thoughts

2007-04-25T16:03:00.000+08:00

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
and I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
good or bad? just a mindless soul speaking while alone at this place. noone should hear this thoughts of me. noone should know how i feel. yet i feel so in need. so in need to tell somebody. i need aid and help. strong as i may be, but weak i actually am. i told u those matters thats bothering. yet, it seems like much more den what ive said. isit just a plain simple matter that can be handled and solved? i hardly doubt it. theres uch more behind the scenes thatn it is. let alone those matters within thats yet to be said. i wanna tell u all now. it soothes me to let u know. running is not what im good at. all these thoughts, it bothers. all these thoughts it kills. it worries me so much about so many. yet why do i still addd burdens? i've failed many because of my dying need for love. i've failed many because of my selfish behaviors to be the one. i've failed and failed yet i keep trying. what is the gist of it? as a nike shirt said, 'Why wait? Just f***ing do it!' its a conviction to be what i am. its a prove and evident that it is the better side. yet the other is tearing its way up. i run. run too often and fast. but no longer i should anymore. friends, family, self and most of all. you..why am i still worrying so much. u have showed me much much more than i thought we could. but still.. the pessimism lingers. im so sorry. its me. my mind swings from ends to ends. too many considerations i have thought about. i just cant stop. im so sorry. its just the times of solitude that makes my mind race. i mean all i said. but im afraid it fires back. everything ive said so far i mean them. i wish to walk the ends with you. but my past is much more than revealed. it wills surely and definitely come back and bite. im fearful now. the fear of losing you. the fear of the enveloping darkness. the fear thats undying in me. fear? its a stepping stone. but can i make that step? i know u will help me with it. i know i should. i know i can. just a mindless ousl speaking its mindles thoughts. i love u so much. my darling vivien.

love 101

2007-04-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

What is love?

Love is not knowing how or why,
And not caring for that matter.

Love is spending time with you,
Even if only briefly.

Love is caring,
Like no one else matters but you.

Love is wanting,
Your lips to touch mine.

Love is hoping,
For you to go out with me.

Love is doin' anything,
Just for you.

I love you,
With all my heart.

Cause loving you is..

always Looking for perfection with you, wishing and yearning for more and more just to be with you..

having you as the Only one that matters and being the only one in my heart, for now, for later, for years to come.

the Visions of your loved magnifested through time, living in a house of love, being so deep in love.

Everything, Everywhere and Everyday spending tears, joy and excitement just knowing u're here..

Love? its where you & i are together.
just a way of describing me & you.

I love you.. thats what's my life is all about. loving you. always. :)

100th post, 14th date, 19days

2007-04-25T10:17:00.000+08:00

hmm. haha. was thinking thinking about it and thus the title. :)

Had a great day ytd.. lesson was simple and had a great time with my team. forgot hows lunch and they day was fine. went to joyce's class after school and played some games that made sean uber high? haha.

*why am i blogging this way of a sudden? heck. must be the mood. still nostalgic to the past? still happy over the night? haha.**

Ok. back to the day..
So, after that, went to meet my darling at cwp.. had some pastamania.. went to courts and did some stupid shit. thought i was careful enough but NO! haha. must be the low IQ at fault. i got the wrong thing and had to run back to change. O well.. went on to suntec to eat some yogurt and decided to crash at darling's place.

damn. how sweet can someone get.. hmm. totally not expecting it but... THANKS DARLING!

Ok. now back to the original version of my form of blogging.

the reminiscene of past brings back tears,
the lost of hope and regrets adds to them,
what's left behind these mindless actions are just more hurts and pains..
the ripping of ties and bonds seems so tempting to those who chooses to run..
the ritting truth behind these actions are hidden within..
brave are those who knows when to fight..
be assured that he who runs comes back..
fight back.. resist... attack... i have nothing left behind but the casanova's unwillingness.
much to exclaim but little to result..
now here is the reminiscene..
one that only brings tears and pains..

Lo & behold thy lovy ones.
Heed forth thy cry of dreams.
bring forth the spur of wisdom.
feel fead thy love for you.
yet another cry for a declaration.
This is my love declaration for you.
my stargirl, AISHITERU!

You're Everything to me.

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

Everywhere - Michelle Branch

the fallen angel

2007-04-24T12:25:00.000+08:00

clipped wings, chipped nails, broken bones, bleeding wounds.
the angel has been shot down to the ground.
the torment of the physical hurts seem to be nothing compared to the breaking of the emotional self.
the angel's hurt by his failure, hurt by the lost of love.
the angel's now down on earth.
lost all interest and hope, lost all motivation and life.
this is the fallen angel now
hatred and sorrow, bitter and hurt.
the fallen angel now turns to hell.

But a glimpse of hope appeared,
a light on earth brings him alive.
a second chance to love again,
a second life for the angel.
now the angel stays on earth,
with much to look forward to,
the fallen angel's mortal.
but it doesnt matter anymore.
he's found more.

u've brought light to my life.
u've brought salvation to me.
u've brighten my dark world.
u've send me much more than u expected.
im so in love now.
do u know that?
u've been more than anything else already,
u've done much more than what it seems.
u make my life lifted again.
Aishiteru.
our life's collided. our fate's interlinked. our love's magnificent. this is all that i've wished for. you gave them all to me. u know that? i love u so much more than i show. i wont fear heartache for i know heartaches not gonna happen. this is not sth to end, this is sth that starts. hope u see this. i wish to tell u so much. i wish to let u know so much. but let time slowly bring us along.. along this river of love.. my heart smiles sweetly thinking of u. im missing you so much now. do u? :)

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide.

-collide by howie day.

-----

2007-04-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

I would fly to the moon and back if
Youll be
If youll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we
Belong
So would you be my baby?

-to the moon & back by savage garden

*i would fly to the moon and back,
to bring you to the stars and see the angels above.

Bored in school, finished work dead early. had a rough night. too many shits to take. too many regrets in life. too much to handle and take. too long have sufferrings been a fren of mine. taking a break seems to have been the wrong option. some things are better not to have stopped or rested. some things are jsut better to just bear and move on. guess im not as gd a fren as i thought i was. if you were reading now.. would u know how impt a fren u've been to me? the clique's in a mess, the game's been played far too quick. true friends are those who matters and comes when in need. can i dare say i am if i havent? guess it's just time that's left to judge. seems as in time has been much more a torture than restoration process. 5 years of friendship going 6. though many things happen between, we finally found friends that stays. a group of fun people, basketball days, jamming days, prata days, school days. those were the nolstagic times. a reminiscene of the past is always a bad thing for me now. it just proves my conclusion right. i dont want to be right anymore. someone prove me wrong please. the damnation of failing, the suffering of mishap. what more can be thrown into this pit that's about to break. the brim of eruption seems near. the drawing of the explosion is one not worth mentioning. take it or leave it? i choose to fight for it. we've done more den enough to prove to urselves our friendship is strong. but the deadly times of conflicts and misunderstandings seem to shade what we once had. im sorry i disappointed u. again and again i know i have. im too ashamed to admit my fault. but to u.. it seems it's worth throwing it down. im sorry i didnt put enough effort. im sorry i didnt fulfil my words. im sorry i hurt u again and again. im sorry for being selfish. im sorry for all the harsh times we had. im sorry.u are still an impt fren to me. someone so dear and close. i wont choose to lose this no matter what. give time and past sake another chance will u? though love's knocking on me. friendship is what brings joy to me. i need thejoys we had. i need your friendship. im sorry.

through the ranting i had ytd, i thought of sth, is love selfish or selfless? a love to give is selfless. a love that's received is selfish. who agrees to this. i've been selfless. all you have been is selfish. who gives u a right to stab. i've done so much but u never appreciated them. i've held so dear to this r/s and never once blamed u for it. but u chose to end it this way. maybe i dont have to right to comment as well. i gave u shit too. but compare my 1! shit to ur ENDLESS shit u threw at me. mine i dare say is much simple. u r just a complicated past of heartaches and hypocritism. i'm sick of it. hate me if u must. u've failed. i've failed. this frienship is not even worth reconciliation. too many dark secrets we both share. i've done in your steed too many times, u never took note, u never appreciated, u never see. why? u chose to give the credits to someone else. u chose to overlook my presence. but im all over it now. i meant all i said. u still are an impt part of my life. but u chose to make it a black spot. the angels of colour here now turns red & black. the colours of hell and satan just took him. an impt fren? u never did anything to keep this frenship. NEVER. dont blame me for this. u had perfection laid before you. u chose to dump it. call me hypocritcal. call me a bastard. name and label me anything. nth matters to u anyways. it never had.

Im in school, missing you. guess the rain does affect my mood. hmm. o well. hope seeing u later lifts me up. im sure it will. :)

2) Mushy

2007-04-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

I need no miracles in life for i've found one.

whoever said what comes around goes around must definitely not be mentioning love. it would only seem like i found the miracle that i've been hoping for so long. regardless of the troubles, hardship or any shit thats to come with it, it fine for you are the one i love now. :)

i regret many things in my life,
but i still wouldnt change anything if given a chance,
because every regret and choices has been a step on this long journey
that finally took me to you.
that's the greatest work of fate and miracle that happened to me.

you are the gift of heavens that's brought to me. :)

Random thought:
discipline is the painful adversary to grow through troubled times.
with dreams comes discipline that leads to success.
it comes with great responsibilities and sacrifice,
but for the better of dreams and visions,
any setbacks can be rebounded.

**let the peaceful stream of love continue flowing with the great future ahead.**

Smileys ((((((((((((:

2007-04-23T17:59:00.000+08:00

你身上专属的陌生味道
是我确认你存在的目标
不用来回张望了
知道今世我们相隔着一个街角
这么久了还是可以看到
感觉的到你对我的重要
不会被天黑天亮打扰
你每一次的温柔我都想炫耀

我们绕了这么一圈才遇到
我比谁都更明白你的重要
沉默久了我就决定了
决定了你的手我握了不会放掉
我们绕了这么一圈才遇到
我答应自己不再庸人自扰
因为我要的我自己知道
只要你的肩膀依然让我靠

-

you are a gift from heaven,
someone that i'll cherish forever.
(:

What if...

2007-04-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

What if i wrote your name in the sky? wind would blow it away.
What if i wrote you name in the sea? waves will wash it away.
Luckily, i engraved your name and kept it in my heart. Nothing can take that away.

What if i were a tear in your eyes? i would roll down to your lips.
What if u were a tear in my eye? i would never cry for the fear of losing you.

if a kiss is a raindrop, i will send showers to you
if a hug is a second, i will send you eternity
if a smile was water, im willing to use the sea for you
but what if love was a person?
i would send you me.

what if love is a disease? i think i will be so sick. for im so in love with you.

what if i die early? i would ask god to let me be your angel, so i can wrap my arms around you for eternity.

if you're asking if u hurt me, the answer is never!
if you're asking how much i love you, the answer is forever!
if you're asking if i want you, the answer if definitely!
if you're asking what i value the most, the answer would be you!

if someone were to ask me to measure my love to you, i would send him to the heavens and back down to hell, bring him around the globe a million times and finally shoot him to pluto and back to earth. for my love for you is that amazing that not a measurement on earth can be used.

But what if i said i miss you and love you so much... would u say it too? :P
**i will be the angel that will forever be by your side, to guide, to protect, to adore, to be eternally yours. i wish for so much to be done with you, i wish to say so much to you, but let time be witness to our love that will never be gone. this angel will stay here on earth, to be the living dream and fantasy, to let you dare to wish and hope, to let you not fear life or anything at all. for anything is possible, with love as deep as ours. let this angel stay in your heart, never let it go.**
to my sweetest, dearest darling, vien. Aishiteru!

Our Shared Dreams

2007-04-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

The grey began to fade,
As the colours filled the sky,
The chill began to warm,
As the sun began to rise.

A lost girl found direction,
As the eastern orb rose high,
The dark sky turned to blue,
Like the stars shining in the sky.

Dark turned to light,
Grey turned to blue,
Lost became found,
That's when I met you.

Fate becomes clear,
Life burns like fire,
With you and me together,
That's where love be in favour.

Let this love blossom, let this love bloom,
let this love take flight, towards a far long journey,
a journey for a distant land, a journey to a special place,
a place meant only for us, the place where stars shine bright,
a place where love magnifests, the place we call home.

with chimneys of love flying out, with dogs running wild,
so free in summer times, cuddled in winter nights,
with mails from faraway friends, and a yard for breeding our own,
with a house built by ourselves, where everything's to our wants,
a place where all is possible, a place we can call home.

This is where we shall stay, this is where this love will....
forever be 52051814112.

Bored

2007-04-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

So many ways to say, "I love you",
never enough to say how much.

So many things to say to you,
never enough time to start.

So many things i wanna do with you,
never had time stopped for all.

So many things i hope for us,
never the time to past soon enough.

So many, so much i wish for you,
for now it's kept in me. :)

Yet again boring day of programming.
Rain's coming,
mood's turning,
fantasizing,
missing you here.

Undefined

2007-04-23T11:36:00.000+08:00

Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.

Life's unexpectancy is as vast of possibilities as the sky and sea combined.
You never know what's coming.
Thus, is predictions and thinking of what's to expect a mistake?
maybe not too much but.. isnt it always good to be prepared?

O well, life's only constant is changes. I just have to see how it comes and wish for the best?
What's to come will come as naturally,
what's to receive and happen will come as it comes.
But its the healing process and restoration that matters.
I believe in the best.
the stars above, with the girl in my arms. My stargirl.

Famous last words - MCR

2007-04-23T11:17:00.000+08:00

Now I know,
That I can't make you stay.
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your,
And I know.
There's nothing I can say.
To change that part.
To change that part.
To change.
So many, Bright lights they cast a shadow,
But can I speak?

Well is it hard understanding,
I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding,
I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding,
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.
Can you see?

My eyes are shining bright,
'Cause I'm out here, on the other side,
Of a jet black hotel mirror,
And I'm so weak.
Is it hard understanding?

I'm incomplete.
A love that's so demanding,
I get weak.
I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.
I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

These bright lights have always blinded me.
These bright lights have always blinded me.

elusive deceptions blinds me.
a skeptic view causes the atheist in me to overrun.
a dire consequence unneeded nor necessary.
the lingering dreams and hope of visions of future is the solitude path ahead.
lonely is this dying road of hardships.
infinite possibilities of truth and lies.
the cynical self overtakes and pessimism becomes clear.
nostalgic to the times of innocence and simplicity.
now lost with devious pseudoism.
a fogged road of much to confess.
too much for a mind to bear.
finally oblivious to the insights required.
i wish only for thoughts of the best.
you simplify and clear my life.

-a mindful of hideous obstructions to the deep thoughts of Franck Muller, master of complications.

Random

2007-04-22T12:47:00.000+08:00

The wild mind races,
the raging heart beats.

I am franck muller, the master of complications

Tree of knowledge

2007-04-22T12:41:00.000+08:00

The tree of knowledge,
so tall and big,
so strong and firm.
It brings shade to the warm bitter weather,
it brings shade to the cold winter nights,
it keeps you safe from the rain and lightning,
it keeps you safe from the torturing cold winds,
it feeds you with it's fruits of knowledge,
it feeds you with it's sap of sweetness,
it stays and keeps your company,
it stays and be your support.
I am the tree of knowledge,
the tree that's strong and firm.

Let not the differences be the point but accept them as the start.
No problem is a problem with a heart to start.
patience may be a virtue, but the act of opportunity is wisdom.
To learn to be satisfied with what is given is a wisdom of content.

I'm satisfied. I'm content, I'm everything that's needed. are you? :)