unhappiness kills

Trauma is a killer; unhappiness is the grim face of neurosis, and neurosis is the trigger initiating almost every human condition. We encounter illness because we are already ill, sick with the neurosis born of emotional deprivation. And we are deprived because our parents were deprived, or our siblings, or our elders, through ignorance, through circumstance, through neglect.


We must uncover and disarm the nature of our emotional wounds, quantify our stunted development and strive to understand the complex nature of our psychological inheritance. If we fail, then we fail not just ourselves but our children and our successors in this world; we suffer and spread emotional trauma, which feeds the neuroses that upset the balance of our human destiny; and pain, illness and grief are the contagion of ignorance.


This is not a religious or a spiritual matter; it is a matter of social and psychological development, and I believe we are all jointly responsible for our societies' emotional growth and social health. Our prisons are full of people with emotional wounds, drawing attention to their crisis in the only way they know how, through violence, outrage and disorders of every kind. We blame drugs; but narcotics are the refuge of neurotics, and we are fast running out of prisons....

hold on..

This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all (hold on)
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to know more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for
but you don’t want to know more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...
hold on

What are you looking for? What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...
Hold on...




maybe things get better..
maybe things goes to past..
maybe... jsut maybe..
life is meant for greater heights..
soar higher.. rise above..
dont waste life?
hmm...

worries

worries..
a burden off my chest..
a new one arises..
challenges my faith & beliefs..
got it off..
new ones comes in..
push me off limits..
overcomed it..
new ones again..
tried my best..
yet new ones once more..

a vicious cycle..
a long journey of endless misery..

overworked..
overloaded..
over commitments..
overjoyed too?
contradictions..
nth more den contradictions..
nth more den me..

regrets regrets..

school..
all too late to change..
nth matters but hard work..
what can i do about it?
fight on? work hard?
i missed too much to cont...
am i right again??
someone prove me wrong pls..
i need help..
i need motivation..
i am inspired by the technology..
but IT?
oh please..
im screwed..
no interest.. cant catch the balls..
cant drop?
im dead..
my darling's school is dying too..
i wish i was in her shoes..
to work for her sake..
i can handle hers..
i udnerstand them..
more or less..
but mine..
all too alte for changes..
work double hard to catch up??
im so done for this sem...
all dead..
arhs!!!!
never should i have skipped..
but den again..
it was for necessary's sake?
i guess?
more or less?
oh well..
what can i say..
im screwed..
but den again..
maybe i can catch up..
but den again..
i dont even need this diploma..
but den again..
i proved myself wrong again..
but den again..
when have i ever done right..
when...

life greatest..

Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you've got the power
To make me weak inside
And girl you leave me breathless
But it's okay
Cuz you are my survival
Now hear me say

I can't imagine Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter Maybe not
Cause I have known the safety
Of floating freely in your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
Cuz only you can save me

Oh, can't you see
I can't imagine
Life without your love
And even forever
Don't seem like long enough

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowining me in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep drowning me in your love

life's greatest happiness is finding love.
one that appreciates who you are and makes you better..
one that stays and stands by you through times when you need it most..
one that is true and innocent to its meanings and virtues..
one that is honest and pure..
life's greatest happiness.. is finding.. you... my love..

________________________________

爱你, 不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你, 每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever 才了解自己,
未来这些日子 要好好珍惜
爱我 有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我 不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风深情 温柔的安抚,
我的不安定 所以我要 每年研究你的笑容
wo~~ 多么自然

forever love forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后, 你会是所有
幸福的理由

爱情, 是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞 偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里 像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化 我的不安定
不可思议 证明我爱你的理由
wo 多么自然
你感动的眼睛,
我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
i love you ~~ 直到永远
oh forever love
forever love
forever love

life's greatest heartache is losing those that matters..
those who made you who you are..
those who you appreciated and felt sorrows for losing..
those who once made an impact in your life..
left a smile or a tear..
life's greatest heartaches is losing the friends that matters..
and losing the love that once held dear...

i will never lose you vivien.. never..
i will never let you go..

but life's unpredictability leaves no second chance..
sorry to those i have left a tear in..
sorry to those i have hurt and left heartaches
sorry to those that once mattered..
im sorry...

shi-ne

oppression, suppression..
a verge of cerebus..
my feelings so deep
regret, forget..
incur the fury of life..
a life so gone & down
depression, obsession..
the thin line that lies ahead..
im walking towards it
endure the wrath of nature's full-fledge strider..
time.. the magnifest of everything within..
bear the snares of its griting teeth..
as it lays concealed of its bemused victim..
the flaring storms of time draws deep wounds...
bleed and heal.. but time wavers on..
a mere rock can turn wall..
a hard-rock with nowhere to turn
asset.. liability..
which makes the call?
a guilt or a blessing.. im lost.
objection.. rejection..
the final move that ends it all..
who has the rights to make that call
optimistic.. utopia..
a simple hope lights the way
leaving forkroads of similar consequence
the weariness and tiredness of trying..
the pillage of goods seized from the 7 seas..
the honour and righteousness challenged by time itself..
the anguish of lost pain and sufferings..
the anguish of frozen bones and buried bodies..
the anguish of a much long forgotten memories..
regret? too late. lost? no chance.
burdened? too often. dead? no time.
shi-ne. it means to die.

counter force

ok. i sensed that my previous entry was kinda emo..
thus...

Four years you think for sure
That’s all you've got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immatureT
hen when you graduate
You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT!
This is the same as where I just came from
I thought it was over
Aw that’s just great

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends

Check out the popular kids
You’ll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom’s straight
And the only thing that matters Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or thirty-five
Reese Witherspoon, She’s the prom queen
Bill Gates, Captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown
Brad Pitt, the quarterback
Seen it all before I want my money back!!

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex
Who’s in the club and who’s on the drugs
Who’s throwing up before they digest
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
And you still listen to the same shit you did back then
High school never ends
High school never ends

-High school never ends by bowling for soup.

Awesome funky & hippy song.
perfect to cheer one's mood. :)

Journal

hmmm...
past week..
work work..
did my PP most of the nights..
work 1,3,5
met my darling almost everyday..
school... sucking my energy dry..
the pressure...
the coming days..
the coming datelines..
supressed..
lost..
confused..
anxiety..
mixed feelings..

not much have happened recently but..
much thoughts run by..
those who knows knows..
those who dont its ok..
thoughts are mere thoughts..
a mind boggling situation where the endless contradictions are seen.
the pros & cons so called, "Weighed"
but nothing can be weighed..
not situations..
its subjective..
its perception..
its biased..

romance..
brain cells dying..
trying... but failing..
disappointed 2 times already..
no more i promise..
no more i hope..
just need more..
i expect more myself..
i expect more from myself..
you are so sweet..
you are genuine unlike the b****..
i treasure u & love u..
but sth seems wrong..
i seem to have lost it..
why..
why.. i ask myself..
how could i..
the pressure?
the past?
i need a hug..
i need your love..
i need reassurance..
i need recognition..
i need you..
so much... so much.. so much..

work's fine & fun... but seems like managers disagree....
some mistakes here & there.. mostly table numbers..
bad memory coming back to me..
laziness coming back to me too
skipping school..
hibernating at home..
dependance on romance..
prioritised first..
lacking time..
need more time..
for friends, for family, for myself, for love..
missing so much now..
bball... prata.. seafood.. chom chom.. stargirl... jamming..
so much to do..
so little time..
so screwed..
:(

War

the war presses near..
time pass by and the preparation seem in disarray..
the enemy seems ready..
ready to pounce on the dying men..
yet morale is low..
strength is weakened..
days draws near to the coming war..
all hope seems lost but a lonely torch in the icy snow..

"light it up. the beacon of hope"
commanded the leaders of the pack..
yet it just seems to late..
its all too late for the last minute preparations..
its all too late for the reinforcements to arrive..
you have to depends on ourselves now..
to improvise to the situation..

preparations seems ready.. but it is not..
food seems enough.. but it is not..
water seems to suffice.. but it is not..
the war seems to depend on this battle.. but it wont..
there are two to be determined..
two so important and close..
both battles to be won..

no tears is expected..
no heartaches or disappointment..
with the coming war that draws near..
what preparations are left undone..
may just be undone...
the war..
the victory..
the lost..
it all lies within the days..
time..
so important..
so dead..

encrypted message

N ZRZBEL URYQ FB QRNE.
N ZRZBEL FB CERPVBHF FB ARNE,
V YBIR H ZL FGNETVEY FRAG SEBZ NOBIR,
GB TVIR ZL URNEG GB GUNGF ZL FBYR CHECBRFR.

V YBIR H YVXR V AI UNQ ORSBER
V ARRQ LBH YVXR N ONOL GB VGF ZHZ
V JNAG GB UBYQ LBH SBERIRE NAQ ARIRE YRG TB
PNHFR LBH NER GUR FGNETVEY FRAG SEBZ NOBIR

YVXR FGNEF VA GUR FXL V TNZR NG LBH
YVXR SVFURF VA GUR FRN V FjVZ JVGU LBH
YVXR SYNZRF NAQ OYVMMNEQF FB FGEBAT NAQ ZVTUGL
BHE YBIR FUNYY OHEA NAQ ENTR JVGU SYVTUG

ZL QRNERFG FGNETVEY QRNE IVIVRA,
AGU VA GUR jbEYQ PNA PBZCNER GB LBH
GUR FHA, GUR ZBBA NAQ GUR TNYNKL,
GUR FVMR, GUR ORNHGL NAQ GUR CHER CRESRPGVBA.

ZL YBIR, ZL FJRRG FJRRG YBIR.
YBIR ZR SBE JUB V NZ NAQ JUNG V PNA OR.
SBE LBHL YBIR ZNXRF ZR JUNG V FUBHYQ OR,
SBE LBH YBIR ZNXRF LBHE FB PBZCYRGR.

V YBIR H ZBER GUNA NALLGUVAT RYFR VA GUR JBEYQ
V YBIR H ZBER GUNA NALGUVAT BSSRERQ OL GUR JBEYQ
V YBIR H ZBER GUNA NAL JBEQF GB QRFPEVOR
V YBIR H ZBER GUNA JUNG V QVQ ORSBER

Aishiteru.


Hint: Caesar Shift 13

5 different people

there are only but 5 types of people in this world

1) Nice & stupid
2) Nice but too smart
3) normal & boring
4) Stupid Jackass
5) Smart jackass


a recent psychological test shows that 40% of people falls within the range of normal but boring, 15% at cat 1, 18% at cat 2, 23% at cat 4 and only 4 % at cat 5. THERE ARE RARE CASES FOR SMART & JACKASS! :)

most people in life are boring and normal, better defined as simple. rarely are there smart people, being jackasses ( i know one. Mr Foo!) and a good misture of the rest. thus, life is easy.

you see a jackass, just run. theres always a better choice. :)
there are never short of men out there.
better yet, there are never short of chances & opportunity in every corner up for grabs.
why waste time trying to fix a bad problem good.
move on to the better and work with it.


a Teens Magazine survey conducted last month indicates..

52% of the world's population are described as UGLY while 36% of the world's poulation are described as average and only 12% are seen as beautiful.

be it a handsome boyfriend or pretty girlfriend, be it an ugly relative or a pretty, good hearted one.
move on with life.
dont be stagnant.
dont be stuck.
move...
on..

爱的主旋律 & Can you feel the love tonight

男：是你在那个雨季 走进我生命 带着一点任性 和温柔的表情
女：是你在那个雨季 赶走了孤寂 温暖的笑容 换我仅有的甜蜜

男：天上一万颗星星我却只看见你 你说这是幸运 还是不可思议
女：身边有太多风景 我却停在这里 说我傻的可以 还不是因为你

男：是你的声音
女：带给我勇气

男：恋爱的频率
女：直到我心底

男：如果你愿意
女：是的我愿意

合：带着我幸福的主旋律
男：从前的实际
女：现在我相信
男：天空会放晴
女：爱会更甜蜜
男：如果你愿意
女：是我的愿意

合：爱的主旋律

__________________________

There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we areIt's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this farAnd can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

teenage rape

Rape is a form of assault where an individual forces another to have sexual intercourse against that person’s will. Most experts believe the primary cause of rape is an aggressive desire to dominate the victim rather than an attempt to achieve sexual fulfillment. They consider rape an act of violence rather than principally a sexual encounter.

Rape is generally considered one of the most serious sex crimes and can be very difficult to prosecute. Sexual violence can also be a war crime under international law. Consent may be absent due to duress arising from the use, or threat, of overwhelming force or violence, or because the subject is incapacitated in some way such as intoxication and/or underage innocence.

A United Nations report compiled from government sources showed that more than 250,000 cases of rape or attempted rape were recorded by police annually. The reported data covered 65 countries, including Africa, Singapore, China and even New Zealand. However most rapes-61% are not even reported to police. One factor relating to this is the myth that rapists are strangers hiding in bushes. In reality 38% of victims were raped by a friend or acquaintance, 28% by "an intimate" and 17% by another relative. Only 16% were committed by a stranger to the victim. About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim's own home. Two in ten take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. And only one in ten take place outside, away from home.

Child Rape also has been up in crime's hands lately. a total compilation of 69,000 over child rape issue have been reported in 2006 in Asia, with more than 9000 from Nepal, 6000 from China and 4000 from Malaysia. With Nepal leading the crime rates of over 100,000 since 1999 to date. Moreover, in Thailand, over 60% of kids have chosen to be a child prostitute earning more millions buds thus placing them the 6th largest earning business in Asia and the largest Red Light District business in the world.

Child sexual abuse is widespread, cutting right across any economic, social, political, religious or race boundaries. It is an issue which is being vehemently addressed right across the political spectrum and it is time that men struggling against both their own and society's sexism began to consider what it is, and what preventative action can be taken. The law also tends to make conviction difficult. Again, a child's word against an adult's may be disbelieved. The court situation is an intimidating one, which can result in children feeling confused, that they are mistaken, that they are partly to blame.Proposals are coming forward to ensure that the legal procedure meets the child's needs. Likewise, police methods as regards child sexual abuse and rape are being brought under a much needed and long overdue scrutiny.

In the legal books, the DEATH sentence is given to ANY forms of child prostitution, pornography or rape cases in most U.S states and Europe. however, crime spreadits wings in Asia. In asia, child sexual abuse is known as Statutory rape, which basically is the crime of sex with a minor under the age of consent (AOC, 18), the age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent to sexual conduct. The law may be strict and punishment is loose. Only a life setence is given on accord of the severity of the abuse and forms of rape. Thus, it is safe to say... the law is NOT doing its job to these offenders.

A quick reference will be the papers just days ago abuot a young girl that got MOLESTED by her DAD. (refer up.. 17% of rape cases comes from relatives.. WTF!) moreover, it happened in their own home (40%). in front of the other family members. Men are animals. Brute and cruel. the lack of sensitivity and sensibility rips the mind apart and forces the desires out to even a young 13-year-old girl. but the law cant do anything can it? a simple life setence is given to the guy and the case actually dragged for two years till just a week ago when the man is finally conviceted behind bars.

Under current laws, having sex with girls under 18 is considered statutory rape, punishable by up to five years in jail and a fine of S$10,000 (US$5900). Prostitution is legal in Singapore but pimping and public solicitation are not. Licensed brothels operate in designated areas, some of them catering to the large community of foreign male workers. note this. its CASH PUNISHMENT and a simple 5 years jail sentence with no CANING or PUBLIC SERVICE involvements.

Efficient is what the legalistive system of Singapore is known for. but what is Effectiveness to it? Crimes does run free. Child abuse? its a sad sad world..

what is love?

Love is a strange and beautiful thing,
It spans time and space, distance is no object to love.
You will wait forever for the one you love,
Travel wherever you need to be with them.
When you are in the arms of the one you love,
That love can make a moment last a lifetime,
Yet make a lifetime seem no more than a moment.
When love is distant it grows strong,
When it returns it flowers.
People crave it, strive for it, fight for it, and die for it,
And when they find it, they know they are complete.
For in the arms of the one we love is wholeness,
Belief, completeness, passion, and security.
The one we love is someone for whom we would do anything,
And never ask for anything in return.
It produces a love of all that person is and will ever be,
Regardless of what that may mean to me.
Love knows that when you are away,
That you are still loved, cherished, thought after, and missed
By the one you love,
And they know that you love them back.
That is Love.


That is my love to you.

Black & white

Black and white,
obaque or transparent,
what am i?
who am i?
invisible or true?

Black and white,
right or left,
which am i?
where am i?
lost or found?

Black and white,
hate or love?
when will i?
how will i?
now or never?

black and white,
contrast in between,
lost for words to match the dif,
now standing before the very same cliff,

do or die,
live or shame,
lost of courage to pull it through,
find no paths to solve this clue,

fight or run,
stay or move,
the will to stay match the will to leave,
the power so strong pulled back for dree.

now or never,
eternal in flames,
lost in transition,
far within the mind..

Plain white - hey dililah

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it al
lEven more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

the scarred tree

thought of sth meaningful and decided to make a story from it.

once, there was a tree. the biggest, wisest, oldest tree in the forest.
one of which he thought he was the best.
but much as life has taught.
noone's perfect. not even god.
god cannot create a rock he cannot lift. (paradox)
and this tree, he just cannot stop providing shade and fruits for the animals of the forest

one day, the forest had a fire. everyone ran and all that passed him ignored his sayings and refused to let him into the happenings.
the poor old tree was left there alone.
soon, the fire spread and the tree was alone standing before it.
it got burnt badly.. on the front side of his tree.
scarred now is this tree forever, burnt and wounded deep.
the animals came back the following days and apologised and tried to make it up to him.
but it was too late, the tree was scarred forever.

everyone including the tree thought it was the end.. the tree has lost its will to provide shelter.. the tree has lost its will to bear fruits.. the tree was lonely and left there by himself..
but it was not the end.. the wise owl flew by several days later and noticed the crying tree.

'say old tree... why are you crying? you are the wisest, oldest and strongest tree in the forest. you can give shade, give fruits and above all, support people.'

'but what use am i if none were to help me in times of need?what use am i if i cant bear fruits nor gives shade? my leaves are burnt, my branches are broken, my bark is scarred. what use am i as a tree?'

'no fear my friend, scarred you may be now, but only the ones that have been through the burns know the taste of fire. only those who's gone throught the pain knows the cure. my friend, the leaves may be gone but grow them back, the branches may be broken and grow them back, your bark may be scarred but be proud. it symbolises your wisdom, your strength and courage. you know the fire's pain and depth. you can help people go through the fire. you can help people prevent the fire. you know the cure to burns. give shade as forms of helping words. bear fruits as forms of burnt antidotes. for you are the tree. a tree is dug deep in the soil, it stands strong and you can bounce back. life is filled with fire and burns. be proud for that you are scarred. you are not broken and torn down. you are just merely taught a lesson. share the lesson. help the needs. spread freely your leaves and branches. stand firm and stonr gyour roots and stem. be proud of your burns and scars. have faith in yourself.'





nothing is impossible to overcome,
someone out there will help and is willing to lend u a hand.
somone out there must have been through what you are/have.
you are never alone in this world. life comes in pairs.
chromosones are in pairs, gender is in pairs, the sky is paired with contrast.
everything is naturally paired.
noone is alone in this world.
someone out there will be the owl to bring you wisdom.
someone out there will be the tree to guide u through & enlighten u with his experiences.
someone out there will also be the animals that runs away & refuse to help.
but everything is just a blessing in disguise.
each path u take, each move u make,
u will rach a different destination.
but how different can it be?
one thing is for sure.
noone is alone to face challenges and obstacles.
i believe everyone in life have many friends.
the true ones stays and help.
the true ones are the tree and owl if you need.
let the animals run and ignore if they want.
appreciate the owl's wisdom.
learn to seek help from the tree.
rejoice for the animals have left.
be proud of your scars.
you may just be the owl if you try.
you may just be the tree in time.
love everyone as u wish they would unto you.
kindness begets kindness.
it does.. it really does..
never fear your scars and shame it.
never regret the paths u make.
for whatever is done is done.
make the best outta it.
that's life's greatest achievement.

fatigue

fatigue have gotten to me..
im tired..
so tired..
think im dying soon..
from the mental blockade and physical loss..
no motivation to work..
no motivation to go to school..
no motivation at all..
hmm... should i quit?
keep my day free or keep my night free?
or better yet. kill myself for 2 years and join ren?
den make myself very free for a year..
o well..
im missing my dearest alot..
skipped sch yet again..
high fever..
excessive swelling at my throat..
uber tired..
but someone came along and brightened my day..
made me brand new and of course..
it was none other den...
well u know..
damn.. missed UT and missed norman;s cele..
but still.. i will make it up to him tml. :)
i've got many good friends ard.. i've come to realise how impt they are to me..
i've come to realise how impt i am to them..
but some are just not worth mentioning..
seems like i have that short span of interest problem..
i like working..
but i hate the fatigue..
o well.. love makes me new.. :)
but then again.. i got too much that i want..
just too much.. like what zoee said in her blog..
action = reaction..
i acted.. now im reacting..
:)
fatigue took the better of me today.

I wanna be loved

I had a roof over head
Had shoes on my feet
Yeah sure I was fed
But no one was there when I was in need...

yeah So who am I now?
Who do you want me to be?
I can forgive you but I won't relive you
I ain't the same scared kid I used to be
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

I found a picture, our so called family tree...
yeah I broke all the branches looking for answers
Don't you know that it ain't how it supposed to be
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try,
willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be!

I ain't gonna cry, I don't want to scream
But I got so much left unsaid inside of me
Taken from
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna survive
Don't want the world to pass me by
I'm gonna dream, I ain't gonna die
thinking my life was just a lie
I wanna give, I'm ready to try,
willing to lay it on the line
I want to be loved
I want to be loved

Reminiscence

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together,
doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms I don't want to run away,
I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..

No promises I don't wanna run away,
I don't wanna be alone
No Promises Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
now and forever my love
No promises





missing the times of simplicty,
where truth is misted and never knew...
when times are so silly and fun..
but now..
times are sweet and still so indulged i live..
u make my heart sink deep.
:)