Journal

hmmm...
past week..
work work..
did my PP most of the nights..
work 1,3,5
met my darling almost everyday..
school... sucking my energy dry..
the pressure...
the coming days..
the coming datelines..
supressed..
lost..
confused..
anxiety..
mixed feelings..

not much have happened recently but..
much thoughts run by..
those who knows knows..
those who dont its ok..
thoughts are mere thoughts..
a mind boggling situation where the endless contradictions are seen.
the pros & cons so called, "Weighed"
but nothing can be weighed..
not situations..
its subjective..
its perception..
its biased..

romance..
brain cells dying..
trying... but failing..
disappointed 2 times already..
no more i promise..
no more i hope..
just need more..
i expect more myself..
i expect more from myself..
you are so sweet..
you are genuine unlike the b****..
i treasure u & love u..
but sth seems wrong..
i seem to have lost it..
why..
why.. i ask myself..
how could i..
the pressure?
the past?
i need a hug..
i need your love..
i need reassurance..
i need recognition..
i need you..
so much... so much.. so much..

work's fine & fun... but seems like managers disagree....
some mistakes here & there.. mostly table numbers..
bad memory coming back to me..
laziness coming back to me too
skipping school..
hibernating at home..
dependance on romance..
prioritised first..
lacking time..
need more time..
for friends, for family, for myself, for love..
missing so much now..
bball... prata.. seafood.. chom chom.. stargirl... jamming..
so much to do..
so little time..
so screwed..
:(